Six Sunday – 9/30/12

Welcome to another week of #sixsunday. Rules are simple: six sentences, no more, no less; post them on your blog for the world to see. For those new to Six Sunday and think that six sentences are not enough to show your work, think again. You’d be surprised at how much of the story you can get out of six sentences, so give it a try! This week, we move a little further into the chapter of my last few postings. I bet that most of you are a little tired of the exchanges between Ryan and Cammy, so I thought I would show something a little different. In this bit, Cammy has gone off to the washroom leaving Ryan alone and confused when her friend and old co-worker Raz shows up. Raz has known Cammy for a while and notices the growing bond between her and Ryan. Hope you like it and special thanks to Siobhan Muir for your helpful comment last week.

For first timers to my blog, my six sentences come from a WIP which is a YA fiction. So here it is and happy Sunday!

Raz wrapped one arm around Ryan and said, “Dat gurl got many stories ta tell…stories dat can make a grown mon cry.”

“Yeah, she told me about her mom and sister. Hey, you know her pretty well right?”

“Like de holy father knows his children.”

Ryan arched his brows briefly before asking, “Do you know anything about her dad?”

Raz sighed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, then turning back to Ryan and said, “Aye, dat’s a real sad story, well…”

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Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , ,

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25 thoughts on “Six Sunday – 9/30/12

  1. Jessica Subject

    Oh, and what’s that story? You’ve left me curious to know. 🙂

  2. Aw, come on! I need to know the story about her dad!

    Great job,
    Michelle

  3. Raz is … hmm, Jamaican? That’s the accent that’s sounding in my head, anyway. Nice 6.

  4. Monica Enderle Pierce

    Oh man, girls with sad stories…. Doesn’t Ryan know that this is just gonna suck him down the rabbit hole?

  5. Carrie Crain

    I get the feeling this book is going to be an erotic crime thriller. Good six!

  6. Still without his watch. Was her dad a time freak?

  7. kimberlykcomeau

    I like Raz’s accent and his interest in the girl’s life. He makes me curious about her past.

    • Thanks, I’m glad you feel that way. It’s what he’s supposed to do and her past is what makes her the way she is in the present.

  8. I liked youruse of the accent to delineate Raz. His character comes across strongly in this snippet. And you left us with a great hook! Good job!

  9. Oh no. Well, now you have to let us in on the story!

  10. Her sad childhood may pique his curiosity, but I think his interest in Cammie is why he’s concerned. I wonder if Cammie is going to be mad at Raz for telling Ryan about her past.

    • You’re right, it is his interest in her that makes him curious. As for Raz, you’ll find out more next week.

  11. It will be interesting to see how Ryan reacts to Dad’s story….

  12. The accent really comes across well. It adds a lot of atmosphere to the scene… nicely done. I’ve not been brave enough to tackle an accent like that. I’m never sure if phonetic spelling is going to make it clear enough… but this one comes out clear as day.

    • Accents can be tricky, but I have an ear for languages, so I can hear the voices over and over again. I’m glad you think it adds to the atmosphere.

  13. You’ve done a marvelous job with the accent. I like Raz and can’t wait to learn more about this interesting character. I suspect they have many layers. Great work Frank!

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