Six Sunday 10/28/12

Welcome to another round of Six Sunday, the place where writers gather to share snippets of published and unpublished work. I would like to thank all those who commented on my last post. Special thank goes to Siobhan Muir, Elin Gregory and Monica Enderle Pierce for their help and suggestions – Thanks so much ladies! Anyways, we continue from the last line of my previous six. Cammy, knowing that Ryan doesn’t trust her, gives Ryan something that her late mother gave to her while she was alive. Hope you like and Happy Halloween! So here it is:

“Hold out your hand,” she said as she pulled a silver ring off her middle finger. Holding one hand out for her, he swallowed multiple times as he stared at the ring sandwiched between her two fingers. The only thing he could think was, “What’s she doin’ now?”

“My mom gave this to me long time ago, wantcha to have it,” she slipped the ring onto Ryan’s finger. His mouth gaped open and his body froze as he stared at her in disbelief. Being a touching distance from receiving something so sentimental clouded his sturdy gaze.

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19 thoughts on “Six Sunday 10/28/12

  1. Monica Enderle Pierce

    Love how she’s got him so flummoxed. Cammy seems the sort to enjoy throwing people for a loop. (And you’re welcome. Glad I could help!)

  2. “What’s she doin’ now?”
    What young man hasn’t asked or thought that about his female companion.
    Nice six, Frank.

    • Exactly what I was thinkin’, to me I think the readers would like this because it’s something they can relate to.

  3. Lovely, touching piece. I particularly love the last line!

  4. Carrie Crain

    She frightens me and even with the seemingly nice gesture of the ring, I don’t trust her. This gal reminds me of Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction. Haunting!

    • You seem to be the only one frightened of her (lol), but the darkness of her past reveals some soft spots. Stay tuned, I’ll be sharing a few sixes where she gets a “what goes around, comes around bit’.

  5. Cammy reminds me a great deal of a good friend of mine. She’s one of my favorite people, but I’m always a little nervous when I hang out with her, because, like your Ryan, I never know quite what she’s going to do or say. I think you’ve done an excellent job bringing these characters along. You should be very proud of what you’ve accomplished so far.

    • Thank you for that comment, and I am proud because they are real to me. Actually, my first writing mentor once said that my story would never sell and that its nothing but navelgazing, I’m glad I got away from him.

  6. Wow! That is a huge gesture on her part. She must feel a very strong connection to him. I enjoyed your dialogue here.

  7. Good gesture, but practical me wants to know if she has unusually large-diameter fingers, his are unusually small, or she puts the ring she’s wearing on her middle finger on his pinkie?

    • I didn’t think of that, I guess I could have it that way. After all, she does have small fingers. Thanks for pointing that out.

  8. This may just be me, but I’m not clear what you mean by “touching distance.” I interpret touching distance as meaning, “being close enough to touch, but not actually touching,” which contradicts the fact that she’s already placed the ring on his finger. Please be aware that I’m not hip to current slang, either, so I may be completely off in my interpretation.

    A nice, touching scene.

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