Welcome to Six Sunday. Thanks for spending your Sunday to check out my six and glad you find them interesting. I know that many of you are eager to see Ryan’s reaction to Duffy’s comment, but this week I’d like to move ahead in my chapter. With the Six Sundays remaining, I want to share some important bits of my story. So this week, I’m sharing a six where Ryan and Cammy, on their way to the beach, see a man giving his little girl a piggy-back ride. It brings happy memories for Ryan, but for Cammy it has the opposite effect, mostly due to the history with her dad. The next few Sundays will be similar to this. Feedback is always welcome and much appreciated. Here it is:
Ryan sighed happily, thinking about how his own dad used to carry him on his shoulders. His face fell when he turned to Cammy, who frowned as she watched them walk away like a loved one driving away with their hand waving out the window. With her stiff eyelids, Ryan assumed she was thinking about one person – her dad. ‘Bingo!’ he thought, and suddenly he could hear Raz’s voice repeatedly saying, ‘Dat’s a real sad story.’
“You OK?” Ryan asked.
“Fine, let’s get outta here,” she sniffled, wiping the bottom of her eyelid.
Visit the Six Sunday link, for the complete list of many authors, like myself. There’s a possibility that I might not make the sign-up for next Sunday. I’ll be traveling to Las Vegas and Phoenix this week, so I’ll do the best I can. Enjoy your Sunday and hope you’re almost set for Christmas.
” like a loved one driving away with their hand waving out the window”
Great analogy!
Great writing!
Thanks! Got it from a movie I once saw that made the person watching cry. Thought it would be a nice touch.
A very emotional six! Well written. 🙂
Thanks Jessica.
Oh, Frank! Yes. the imagery in this is so vivid and it tugs at the heart. Nice job this week!
Glad you agree, it took awhile for me to find the right imagery for this.
Wow, Frank, you’re snippets get better and better every single week! I don’t know which I like best, the analogy or the emotion in this scene. Very well done!
I guess you can like them both. You wouldn’t believe how much time I spend trying to get these snippets right. I’m jealous of a lot of these writers on SSS.
Also safe travels and happy holidays!
There’s a lot going on with these characters, so much more to reveal, l’m enjoying learning about them.
thanks, the remaining SSS will focus on the history of her dad.
Beautiful way of showing the difference in their backgrounds.
Thanks, guess I did my job well.
Great scene, Frank! And I loved how tuned in he was with her and how he handled it! Have fun in Vegas!
Thanks Angela
Intead of: “With her stiff eyelids, Ryan assumed she was thinking about one person – her dad. ‘Bingo!’ he thought,”, you could insert an inner thought “I bet she’s thinking of her dad.” and then the part about Raz’s voice. This would show the same emotion without telling us. Good six, Frank. 🙂
Sounds good, thanks for that.
Oh that’s sad. Ryan did well to pick up on the signs though.
Stiff eyelids seems an odd way of describing it. I couldn’t decide whether it referred to her frown or that she is trying not to cry.
I changed the stiff eyelids…i thought it was a little over the top.
I like the contrast you paint between Ryan’s memory and hers, and his realization that it’s a painful memory for Cammy.
that it is…it’s the focus of this chapter
I love their differing reactions, it shows us show much about their pasts. The imagery of a loved one driving away was lovely as well. Great 6. By the way, I adore your banner image!
Thanks Clare
Aw. Poor Cammy. Love how the moment is different for both of them.
it’s a set up for things to come.