Six Sunday – 12/16/12

Welcome to Six Sunday. Thanks for spending your Sunday to check out my six and glad you find them interesting. I know that many of you are eager to see Ryan’s reaction to Duffy’s comment, but this week I’d like to move ahead in my chapter. With the Six Sundays remaining, I want to share some important bits of my story. So this week, I’m sharing a six where Ryan and Cammy, on their way to the beach, see a man giving his little girl a piggy-back ride. It brings happy memories for Ryan, but for Cammy it has the opposite effect, mostly due to the history with her dad. The next few Sundays will be similar to this. Feedback is always welcome and much appreciated. Here it is:

Ryan sighed happily, thinking about how his own dad used to carry him on his shoulders. His face fell when he turned to Cammy, who frowned as she watched them walk away like a loved one driving away with their hand waving out the window. With her stiff eyelids, Ryan assumed she was thinking about one person – her dad. ‘Bingo!’ he thought, and suddenly he could hear Raz’s voice repeatedly saying, ‘Dat’s a real sad story.’

“You OK?” Ryan asked.
“Fine, let’s get outta here,” she sniffled, wiping the bottom of her eyelid.

Visit the Six Sunday link, for the complete list of many authors, like myself. There’s a possibility that I might not make the sign-up for next Sunday. I’ll be traveling to Las Vegas and Phoenix this week, so I’ll do the best I can. Enjoy your Sunday and hope you’re almost set for Christmas.


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25 thoughts on “Six Sunday – 12/16/12

  1. ” like a loved one driving away with their hand waving out the window”
    Great analogy!
    Great writing!

  2. Jessica Subject

    A very emotional six! Well written. 🙂

  3. Oh, Frank! Yes. the imagery in this is so vivid and it tugs at the heart. Nice job this week!

  4. Wow, Frank, you’re snippets get better and better every single week! I don’t know which I like best, the analogy or the emotion in this scene. Very well done!

  5. There’s a lot going on with these characters, so much more to reveal, l’m enjoying learning about them.

  6. Beautiful way of showing the difference in their backgrounds.

  7. Great scene, Frank! And I loved how tuned in he was with her and how he handled it! Have fun in Vegas!

  8. siobhanmuir

    Intead of: “With her stiff eyelids, Ryan assumed she was thinking about one person – her dad. ‘Bingo!’ he thought,”, you could insert an inner thought “I bet she’s thinking of her dad.” and then the part about Raz’s voice. This would show the same emotion without telling us. Good six, Frank. 🙂

  9. Oh that’s sad. Ryan did well to pick up on the signs though.

    Stiff eyelids seems an odd way of describing it. I couldn’t decide whether it referred to her frown or that she is trying not to cry.

  10. I like the contrast you paint between Ryan’s memory and hers, and his realization that it’s a painful memory for Cammy.

  11. I love their differing reactions, it shows us show much about their pasts. The imagery of a loved one driving away was lovely as well. Great 6. By the way, I adore your banner image!

  12. Aw. Poor Cammy. Love how the moment is different for both of them.

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