Six Sunday – 01/06/13

The first Six Sunday of 2013. Thanks for spending part of your Sunday to check out my six. Hope everyone had a great New Year’s Eve and that 2013 is starting off right for you. It is for me – so much to accomplish this year.  Thank you to those who responded to me about alternative for after SSS – much appreciated. This week, we continue from the last line of my previous six. Here, Cammy is giving Ryan more details about her dad. Your comments are always welcome, as well as appreciated. Here it is:

Ryan couldn’t close his mouth as every word sent shock waves throughout his body. Taking another swig of her beer, she stared glumly at the sand in front of her.

“Ya know that guy givin’ that girl a piggyback ride…my dad never did that. He was never there for me, never at any of my gymnastics competitions. Didn’t even say ‘congrats’ after I won a writing contest when I was eleven. Fact, he never even told me he loved me, or even proud of me – not once.”

Visit the Six Sunday link, for the complete list of many authors, like myself. Some of my favs include Sarah Ballance, Siobhan Muir, Angela Quarles, Clare Davidson, Elin Gregory and Jessica E. Subject.

 

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23 thoughts on “Six Sunday – 01/06/13

  1. I love the description of the effect of Cammy’s words on Ryan, makes his shock so vivid. Cammy really did have a rough ride as a kid. I can’t imagine not telling my daughter I loved her!
    I think you’re missing a couple of words in the last sentence.
    Thanks for the shout out 🙂

  2. Jessica Subject

    Oh gosh, that is so sad! I can understand Ryan not knowing how to respond. Well done! 🙂

    • Thanks, someone told me this past week that it was too much detail; she suggested that I say her dad was mean to her. I think the specifics are more appropriate.

      • Jessica Subject

        Yes, I agree. Saying that he was mean to her is telling. Go with the detail. Makes the reader understand her more. 🙂

  3. Are you familiar with kdlang’s song, “Nowhere to Stand?”
    Your six today reminded me of that song.
    Nice six, Frank!

  4. 2nd attempt.
    Your snippet today reminded me of kdlang’s song, “Nowhere to Stand.”
    Great six!

  5. Well done, Frank! I way she doesn’t make eye contact with Ryan while providing her backstory. Great job!

  6. Poor thing! Great showing of her backstory here and how she tells it…

  7. Aw, poor thing. Some Dads don’t know what they’ve got!

  8. This is very realistic dialogue, Frank and I like the action you’ve put with it. It shows Ryan’s attitude and thoughts without actually “describing” them and gives insight into Cammy’s feelings. Nicely done!

    • thanks, there’s more that she will share about her dad. I feel that the specifics show how her dad treated her, rather than just me saying that he was mean to her.

  9. No wonder she has problems.

    • yes, I read this out loud to a group I belong to and one of them said it was too much detail…but I feel it needs to stay in the story.

      • I agree. The details make us more aware of what her childhood was like and can give us an insight into the way she acts now. I think the only reason a character should gloss over those details is if they’re hiding something, at which point the details are bound to come out eventually anyway!

  10. Not too much detail at all. Sometimes you need that specific detail to get the exact point across. Poor poor Cammy! 😦

    Thanks for the shout out, sweetie.

    • I’m glad you liked the six, there’s more that she has to say. And no problem for the shout out, I love your sixes and hope we can exchange comments after SSS. Cheers!

  11. Great six, Frank! Poor Cammy.

  12. I love Ryan’s shock. I feel bad for Cammy. It must have been a hard childhood for her.

  13. Heartbreaking!

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