Hump Day Hook – 02/13/13

Good morning and happy Wednesday to you all! This is my first time participating on Hump Day Hook, but I’ve seen that a few of you from Six Sunday and Weekend Warriors are participants – Hello! I’m sharing a paragraph from my WIP, which is a YA novel. Those who know me, this is a continuation from my 8 sentences on Weekend Warriors. Cammy still hasn’t arrived, so Ryan is concerned and tries to contact her. Comments are greatly appreciated, and to those visiting my blog for the first time, I hope you like it.

Whipping out his phone, Ryan rapidly typed at the keypad, ‘We’re here Wre r u?’ and hit send. He tucked the phone on the seat between his legs, his hands trembling. He couldn’t keep making up excuses for her and needed a sign that she was coming. The waitress sauntered towards the booth, holding two plates full of grub in one arm, another full plate in the other. “Dinner’s served,” she announced, laying Miguel and Tracy’s orders down on the table. A crooked expression appeared on Miguel’s face as he slowly reached for the set of utensils. As she presented Ryan his French toast he ran his jerky left hand through his hair. He gazed at the three thick slices on the plate that looked more like a mountain of burgers.


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17 thoughts on “Hump Day Hook – 02/13/13

  1. Ryan’s anxiety is really clear again in these sentences. What an awkward situation to be trapped in. I hope he hear’s from Cammy soon. Really good attention to detail.

    • That’s what I’m trying to achieve. Unfortunately for Ryan Cammy doesn’t show up nor return his calls. When they do meet again, her reason for not showing up is appauling.

  2. Nice tension. Having to make up excuses for someone is awful. Hope anxiety hasn’t robbed them of their appetite. 😳

  3. gayleramage

    I wonder what Cammy’s excuse is. 🙂

  4. angelicadawson

    I’m not quite hooked yet, but I’m curious about the no-show. Well written.

    • It’s my first time to HDH. This builds to what is about to come, but I’ll try and share something that’s more of a ‘hook’.

  5. Jessica Subject

    I can sense his anxiousness. Well done! Welcome to HDH! And what’s Cammy’s reasoning? Better not be her father!

    • Thanks, HDH seems like a neat meme. I’ll reveal why she doesn’t come, it may surprise you, but it’s not her dad.

  6. Great hook – well done!

  7. The anxious feeling he has makes my stomach hurt. Poor guy. I hope he can go on to feel more satisfied. The scene makes me want to see what happens with him.

  8. Cracking snippet Frank. There’s nothing worse than trying to make small talk while you’re worried sick. I hope she comes soon.

  9. Lots of nice ‘showing’ in this scene 🙂

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