Weekend Writing Warriors – 02/17/13

Hello Weekend Writing Warriors. Thanks for your comments last week. I enjoyed reading your snippets and look forward to reading more. This week, we continue with Ryan waiting for Cammy to arrive. In this snippet, Cammy still hasn’t shown up and Miguel’s patience is wearing thin and suspects something. Ryan is the first to speak. I welcome your feedback, bear in mind that I haven’t edited this yet – I wrote it last week.

“This isn’t like her guys, something’s wrong.”

“Yeah, something is wrong,” Miguel quipped, his voice hinting at sarcasm.

“Look bro, I dunno what’s happened…has it even occurred to you that she might’ve been in an accident, or maybe even attacked?”

Miguel winced and said, “Has it occurred to you that she’s maybe fuckin’ around with ya? That she’s stood ya up and gone on some stupid joyride?

Ryan narrowed his eyes, while thinking Miguel might have been right. ‘Did she ditch me? Was she lying to me about being OK with all of this?’

Click on the link above for the complete list of participating authors, and be sure to check them out. I will be away on a skiing trip next weekend, so I’ll have to miss out on WeWriWa. Have a great day everyone!

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27 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors – 02/17/13

  1. No doubt they’ll find out soon enough. I enjoyed this Frank, it flows easily.

  2. Oh the doubts creep in – terrific dialog, I’m still worried about Cammy myself LOL. Excellent excerpt!

  3. Oh my word….I wonder why she hasn’t arrived yet. I have a bad feeling about this. Great snippet as always. 😀

  4. Monica Enderle Pierce

    Love the back and forth here and how, ultimately, Miguel has planted the seeds of doubt. Trouble ahead, no doubt.

  5. Always the relatives.

  6. This is so realistic. I hope Cammy’s not playing him.

  7. siobhanmuir

    Oh, I’m sorry he’s doubting. Has she done anything like this before to give him cause to doubt? But I know what it’s like on a first date sort of thing. Nicely done, Frank. 🙂

    • No, Miguel hasn’t even met her before. That’s just his personality. A past girlfriend played him around and turned out to be trouble, so he naturally thinks this will happen to his little brother.

  8. I think he should go with his first instinct. Great job capturing his troubled emotions, Frank. Each week it seems like you’re snippets get a little stronger. Good job!

    • I learn more how I should show their emotions. Plus I took a workshop that focused on keeping a reader’s attention.

  9. I liked this snippet. I’m a little worried about Cammy as well. Love the way you had Miguel plant doubt in Ryan’s about Cammy.

  10. Is it bad that I dislike Miguel for planting the seeds of doubt in Ryan’s mind? I hope we find out why Cammy is late soon. The dialogue flowed really smoothly and I liked the build up to Ryan’s doubts creeping in.

    • No, I myself dislike Miguel and glad he’s not my brother. You’ll find out about Cammy – it’ll be surprising.

  11. And the seed of doubt is planted…but what did happen to Cammy? So many threads in only 8 sentences, nicely done!

  12. Maybe Miguel is more insightful that we give him credit for.
    Maybe the seeds of doubt are really premonitions of the truth.
    Nice excerpt, Frank!

  13. historysleuth1

    Good snippet. You can tell Miguel is, bitter now Ryan is questioning himself. Nice job getting that across in so few sentences.

  14. The plot thickens! Looking forward to the next excerpt. ;c)

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