Weekend Writing Warriors – 3/10/13

Hello and welcome to another week of Weekend Writing Warriors. I’m sharing another eight from my novel in progress. I apologize to those on Hump Day Hook – work has kept from participating and commenting on everyone. I’ll try and get back on it as soon as I can.

Set-up: Cammy explains how she got drunk, which caused her to miss dinner with Ryan and his brother. Cammy is the first to speak.

“After work, a couple of peeps wanted to sit at the beach and drink some beers,” she confided, sending another text.
 “But you knew we were gonna meet at the diner at six, right?”
“Yeah, but I needed to blow off some steam, had a rough mornin’.”
“Rough morning?”
“Had nightmares the night before and felt like shit the next day,” she clarified. “Thought one beer wouldn’t hurt, but one beer turned to two, then three, lost count after that.”
“And you didn’t even have the courtesy to call and tell me this?”
She shrugged and sighed, her eyes half-lidded as she shoved her phone into her bag.


I know what you’re thinking: Ryan should run. Perhaps he should, but he isn’t able to since he knows the real Cammy is still there. Click on the link for the complete list of participating authors and check their snippets out.

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28 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors – 3/10/13

  1. In situations like that, it’s easier to walk away than stay and help the other person. I think he’s pretty brave for sticking around. I like the contrast between her nonchalance and his concern/annoyance in these sentences.

  2. Oh, well, I hope the real Cammy comes back soon. I don’t care for this one at all. Good snippet. 😊

    • She will come back. Ryan doesn’t like this Cammy either, but knows the real one is in there somewhere.

  3. jessschira

    The fact that she’s texting during her explanation says a great deal about the situation. Great and interesting snippet Frank. I always look forward to them.

    • Funny enough my ex-wife used to do the exact same thing when she explained something to me…drove me nuts.

  4. Sounds like the alcoholic content of beer got underestimated.

  5. Monica Enderle Pierce

    Their relationship is a train wreck that just keeps on going. Q: Are they talking or texting? It reads like dialogue, but then she’s using her phone, so I was a bit confused. 🙂

  6. Well, I can feel his frustration, will be interesting to see what he does. Excellent excerpt, very realistic scene!

  7. She’s texting while they talk? Shows what she thinks of him. Or maybe she’s pretending.

  8. He was obviously annoyed and rightly so, but, I can see how too many beers can skew one’s priorities. The texting while talking is just rude, but typical of young people, these days. LOL I sound like an old curmudgeon.

    • No you don’t sound like that at all. You’re right it is typical of young people and that’s what I’m trying to show.

  9. Wow, she sounds so heartless. And it really adds to the scene that she’s barely listening and texting at the same time. Great snippet.

  10. This has many layers. Messing up her relationship with Ryan, who sees her slipping away. And all the while they are talking, who is she texting? No, I don’t want you to tell me. 🙂 I’m thinking out loud. Very good snippet. So much is going on in those few sentences.

  11. siobhanmuir

    That she’s texting someone else really shows how she’s trying to avoid him. Nicely done, Frank. 🙂

    • That’s the message I’m trying to transpire, but I also do it because most college kids do that anyway.

  12. I am thinking Ryan should run, but l’m hoping that he wont.

  13. How very inconsiderate of her. I’m just jumping in here- just started the weekend writers- but this is a great snippet. Thank you for sharing.

    • Well welcome to Weekend Writers. Glad you enjoyed, and I’ll have to read some of your snippets soon.

  14. Great snippet. Now that I know you don’t know who she was texting I want to know who she was texting. 🙂 I think the real Cammy is in there somewhere but I think she’s afraid and pushing him away.

  15. Wow. Not cool, Cammy. Not cool.

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