Weekend Writing Warriors – 5/19/13

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It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time. I’m continuing to share more snippets from my novel. This eight continues a few lines from my last post. Ryan gives Cammy the cold shoulder, as he attempts to finish his paper. Cammy’s patience wears then and decides to be blunt. So here it is:

 

“The hell’s with the attitude?” Cammy asked sharply. “The fuck you been ignorin’ me for? Who stole your mornin’ java?”

Ryan titled his head up, looking at her with one raised eyebrow. “You’re really askin’ me that?”

He snorted and continued typing. She pressed the monitor firmly down on his hands and blurted, “Yeah…I am!”

He gave her a dazed look, but groaned when he saw the serious expression on her face.

 

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23 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors – 5/19/13

  1. Oh! Ouch! Your Ryan is obviously in a lot of trouble already – and there seems to be more in store. 😉

  2. This is coming along. I wish I could see more of the argument.

  3. I’m wondering what is with HER attitude. And Cammy better hope she hasn’t erased Ryan’s work by trying to close the laptop. That will not endear her to him.

    • Cammy’s the type of person you have to tell her when she’s done something wrong, because she feels she always right. Ryan eventually tells her how he feels about being stood up. She doesn’t erase his work, but good that you thought that would happen.

  4. I always enjoy reading the dialogue you post. The conversation between your characters always snaps and feels very organic. Great job!

    • I do a better job with dialogue than narrative, in my opinion. Their personality differences seems to make the conversations boil up. Thanks for your comments.

  5. Cammy’s an interesting character. Can’t wait to read more of this conversation, excellent excerpt!

  6. She’s sharp with him. I wonder what’s up.

    • Cammy’s usually patient, but when you make her mad watch out. I will share exactly what’s up in the next snippet.

  7. siobhanmuir

    I don’t understand his “dazed look” because I don’t believe he’s confused about what he’s feeling. And I like that he calls her on it. I’m kinda surprised at her audacity in demanding why *he’s* ignoring her. Did she just forget standing him up and then brushing him off? Great snippet, Frank. 🙂

    • I use dazed look because he’s shocked that she’s asking him why he’s upset, when she knows very well why. Is there another way I could’ve described that? At the beginning of the chapter, I summarize that Ryan has been avoiding her and ignoring her calls for days. Cammy’s the type of girl that doesn’t recognize she’s done something wrong until someone tells her otherwise. Appreciate your comments though.

      • siobhanmuir

        I think it depends on what he’s feeling. “Astonishment” at her vagueness? “Outrage” at her lack of understanding? “Dazed” suggests he’s been hit or drugged. “Puzzled” works, but is much more mild. It just depends on what he’s feeling to indicate which verb to use. 🙂

      • Alright, thanks for the suggestions.

  8. Looks like she’s wanting to talk.

  9. She’s a strong character that Cammy! Still Ryan doesn’t seem to be running away so hopefully he’ll tell her why he’s so angry and they’ll clear the air!

  10. Because Heaven forbid he conentrate on his homework instead of on her… I hope she didn’t mess anything up by closing his laptop on him.

  11. historysleuth1

    Who doesn’t know the clueless type? I’m glad he’s ignored her instead of chasing her. Make her think a bit. I think you are writing her personality type spot on. Good snippet.

    History Sleuth’s Writing mysteries.

    • Thanks, throughout the book you see examples of her personality through dialogue. I think it’s better that the reader see what she’s like through her actions and words.

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