Enter Crush, Cammy’s gnarly friend


Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday . It’s good to be back after nearly two months.

I’m sharing an eight from my novel, Let Go, a new adult contemporary romance. In this eight, my main characters, Ryan and Cammy, are hanging at the beach.  Along with them is her roommate, Jordy, and her friends Raz and Duffy. They are congregating at a bonfire, just after sunset when a young man arrives. He is actually another friend of Cammy’s.

On with the eight:

A buzzing sound filled the air as a moped approached the beach. Ryan squinted at a braided blonde young man riding it, as he parked at the sand’s edge. Wearing an unbuttoned blue shirt along with dark shades, he shuffled towards everyone with his hands inside the pockets of his khaki shorts and broadcasted, “Crush has arrived, everybody!”

“Just missed the sunset, ya lazy ass,” Cammy greeted. 

“Sorry Stumpy, I was at this like awesome party.”

“Yew score?” Duffy asked.

“Dude, met this like totally cute babe. Think she was like French or Italian…had super cute eyes and hot buns.”

I’ll continue with this in two weeks – next week’s kind of too close to Christmas, and I’ll be New York City, then Florida that week. Love to know what you think. I’ll do my best to visit everyone’s posts, but I’m going to be snowshoeing most of the day. So if I don’t get to your posts, it’s not that I’m snubbing you. Happy Sunday and Merry Christmas to everyone!


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18 thoughts on “Enter Crush, Cammy’s gnarly friend

  1. You did a great job capturing Crush’s personality in a single line of dialogue. Based on this snippet, it’s going to be a fun read 🙂

  2. Ooh, snowshoeing sounds like a fun way to spend the day! And couldn’t be more different than what your characters are up to LOL. I’m with Jess, I could totally visualize this new character from the details in the snippet. Excellent excerpt!

    • Thanks Veronica! I think anyone can get a sense of what Crush is like through dialogue. As the story progresses, you get deeper understanding of him.

  3. Merry Christmas to you too, Frank!

    I like Crush. Sounds like the quintessential surfer dude. He’s very well-drawn.

    • He is a quintessential surfer dude – that’s exactly the kind of character I’ve set him out to be, and how I want my readers to perceive him.

  4. Not sure I’d like Crush, but the dialog does a good job if introducing him.

  5. elainecsc2013

    You did a good job showing his personality.

  6. Well done with the dialogue. I know people who talk like that and they drive me crazy! (Especially when they infect *my* speech patterns.)

    But I think the ‘likes’ should be set off with commas.

    “I was at this, like, awesome party.”

    Because there is a pause for this annoying verbal tick, you know?

  7. “Stumpy”? 😀

    The dialogue is excellent, dude!

  8. Great intro of a character!

  9. siobhanmuir

    You nailed the dialog in this snippet, Frank. Nicely done. Have great holidays. 🙂

    • Thanks Siobhan, I’m glad I was finally able to impress you without any critiques (LOL). Have a great holiday season as well. I hope to be more active in the writing world soon.

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