Weekend Writing Warriors: Cammy’s Wasted!

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Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. Eight sentences, post them and get constructive feedback. Today, I’m offering an eight from my novel, Let Go, a new adult romance. This scene happens shortly after my last eight (which seems like ages ago.). Here my main character, Ryan, is chatting with Crush and Raz, when Cammy thinks Crush is messing with Ryan, so she starts attacking Crush. She’s drunk and is only teasing, and everyone knows this. Her roommate, Jordy, is the first to speak. 

Here’s the eight:

“She’s wasted, pay no attention to her,” Jordy said teasingly, downing her sixth beer.

“Am not!” Cammy shot back. “They’re messin’ with him…no-body messes with my man, I’ll ass yer kick, Crush!”

She reached up and pinched Ryan’s cheeks with two fingers, as she gazed at him with sleepy eyes. “Lisa’s so right, I’m a luuucky girl.” Her beer-fumed breath filled his nostrils, and Ryan chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her cool skin, getting lost in the moment. 

“Think you’ve had a little too much,” he quipped, patting her forehead.

“Yeah, like nine beers now,” Jordy added, pointing to the pile of empty beer cans next to Cammy’s flip-flops.

 

*Note: Lisa is Cammy’s older sister, who already knows about Ryan.

Cammy’s drinking plays a pivotal part in the novel, and is one of her weaknesses. Your comments are much appreciated and I look forward to reading your snippets. For the official list of participating authors, click on the link above.

Sorry I haven’t been participating the last couple of weeks. I’m usually busy during the winter skiing and snowshoeing on weekends. Until April comes by, I’ll only be participating every other weekend. Hope you understand. I’ll share one more eight from my novel, then share eights from my short story, The Burning Night.

Have a good day everyone!

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22 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors: Cammy’s Wasted!

  1. burnsmillie

    She’s got a drinking problem…I’m wondering how this affects your plot, and why he finds her cute.

    • The drinking problem stems from her past and has gotten her into trouble. It does present a conflict in the novel, but I think readers will like it because they can relate to her. I personally like characters with issues similar to Cammy.

  2. I really like the drunken conversation, you nailed it 😉 I’ve probably missed a few of these snippets of Ryan and Cammy, but it’s nice to see her showing him some real affection finally, even if she is drunk!

    • Thanks Clare. I haven’t been as active with I think this presents a sweet moment for them and the readers.

  3. I wonder what they are celebrating.

  4. Ha cute snippet! You painted that scene very well!

  5. Got a chuckle out of “I’ll ass your kick”. 🙂 Cammy obviously loves Ryan, but I wonder whether or not her drinking problem will come between them. Probably!

  6. I hope she can get that under control.

  7. Nice job, Frank, and I like the characters

  8. Loved the snippet. I love that she’s showing some affection towards him too. True feelings tend to come out when people are drunk.

  9. I think the scene sounds very “real” to me and I’m sure her drinking issues must create problems for everyone in her group (which of course makes for a rich plot). Great snippet – Enjoy the skiing!

    • they mostly create problems for Ryan and his brother. Her friends are oblivious to it, since they like to drink and think it’s fun.

  10. A good problem (drinking) to tackle in a story. This feels like a young adult story, late teens, early twenties… I wouldn’t exclude that market unless there are themes that preclude it from being reading by teens. I don’t think there can be enough entertaining fiction books that show the bad side to drinking when it gets out of control. Just my thoughts, Frank. Ignore me at will. 😉 Good 8! Enjoy the slopes!

    • The story has young adult elements, but because it takes place in a college setting, I feel it is new adult. There is only one sex scene so that may kill any YA possibilities. I love your input, and need more of it. Thanks Teresa!

  11. Nine beers? Whoa.

    Are they outside at night someplace cold? Because alcohol usually makes people warm, doesn’t it?

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