Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! Thanks for stopping by. Hard to believe it’s April already. I’m sharing an eight from The Burning Night.
Set up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a room under the watchful eye of Emily and her twenty-something daughters. Emily tells the girls that they about to get the hot foot to end all hot feet, which leaves the girls trembling. Emily is the first to speak as she instructs one of her daughters to flip on a power switch.
Note: I’ve modified this excerpt so it meets the eight sentence criteria:
“Jessie, switch it on!”
The girl leaned over the edge of the skylight, disappearing from sight as a loud ‘click-click’ sounded from above that made my heart jump. Dipping my chin, my eyes bulged as the floor began to glow bright red with intense heat oozing through the bottoms of my feet.
Ashley looked down and jerked her feet, the glow and the heat mounting by the second. “Whoa, this floor’s getting hot!”
Jolting my feet, a sharp cry escaped me as every inch of the floor turned into a blanket of glowing stove burner red and the excruciating heat scorched our feet.
“Aaaaahh!!” we cried and leapt off the floor, endlessly lifting up one foot after the other in a lame attempt to avoid burns. The blistering heat stabbed the bottoms of my feet like a hundred needles with every touch as I cried out in agony.
Now you know why Melissa was worried about that floor! FYI: both girls are barefoot, so you can understand how much that hurts! This is a previously shared snippet, but as you can see it’s been edited so I’d love your feedback. I look forward to reading your snippets, too. In case you’re wondering if Melissa has her shoes on, here’s a link to the previous snippet where she took them off. Snippet
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