I hope you all are having a wonderful Easter weekend, wherever you are. It has been a week of wacky weather in my neck of the woods (snow, rain, cold, etc). Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the place where writers share eight sentences from their stories. I’m also participating on Facebook’s Snippet Sunday.
This week we pick up from last week’s snippet of my YA horror, The Burning Night. The previous snippet can be found here.
Set-up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a chamber by Emily and her two daughters, who watch them from a skylight above. One of Emily’s daughters has flipped a power switch, which makes the entire floor under Melissa and Ashley’s feet glow red-hot! With nothing to grab onto, the barefoot girls constantly lift up one foot after the other as they try to avoid harsh burns. Emily and her daughters delight in watching them suffer a killer hot foot.
This is in Melissa’s POV and with a little bit of creative punctuation.
“Look at ‘em dance, girls,” Emily razzed, her scornful voice pricking me like darts.
“Ow! Ouch! Ow! Ow! Hot!” Ashley repeatedly cried, wincing as she desperately tried to keep her feet off the blazing floor. The pained expression on her face made my heart crack. With bulging eyes, she glanced at her poor feet as they endured painful burns with every touch of the floor. Turning to me with frantic eyes she cried, “It-it’s like l-lava on my f-feet, wh-what are we gonna do?!?”
A chorus of cheeky squeals filled the air, dominating our cries as well as our feet thumping against the hot surface. The three women beamed at us from behind the skylight and I cried, “You…sick bi-bitches this re-really hu-hurts…wh-why are you torturing us?!?”
Good question! You can get a good sense of Ashley and Melissa’s anguish. How much more can their poor feet take? I would very much love to know your thoughts (yes I know this is scary). I look forward to reading your snippets today, too.
Visit the official site of Weekend Writing Warriors for the complete list of participating authors. If it’s your first time, I’d like to suggest you visit some of my favorite authors: Veronica Scott, Sarah Cass, Sarah Wesson, Millie Burns and Caitlin Stern.
I’m heading off to Spain next week for two months, so sadly I won’t be participating on W.W.W. for the next few weeks. I will return once I’m settled in Spain. Until then I’ll miss you all! Before I go, I’m thinking of changing the title of my story and I would like some feedback, if it’s not too much trouble. My possible suggestions are:
1. Girl On a Hot Tin Roof
2. Hot Time in the Old House
What do you think? If you can suggest a different title based on the snippets I would welcome that as well. Click on the Contact Me tab on my site if you want to give me a detailed suggestion. Thanks so much!