Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Ashley’s Suggestion

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It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time again. I originally wasn’t going to participate, but I thought, ‘What the hey!’ Hope you are all having a great weekend, wherever you are. I’ve been busy getting myself organized since I moved to northern Kentucky last week. I’m sharing another eight from, The Burning Night, my YA novella.

Set-up: My MCs, Melissa and Ashley, are hanging out in Melissa’s room. They are spending a few days in a rented country house with their parents. Ashley suggests to her older sister that she come with her and their mother to a spa, located in the nearest town. Ashley is the first to speak and this is in Melissa’s POV.

The Eight:

 

 

“Hey, come with me and Mom to Griddle tomorrow,” she suggested. “A mani-pedi is just what you need to make this trip more fun.”

I let out a heavy sigh, before answering her with a disgruntled voice.

“You know I hate strangers touchin’ my hands and feet.”

“Oh the things you’re missin’ out on, Ms. Misery,” she teased, and patted my head. “But fine stay here and miss out on all the fun…more ‘mother-daughter’ time for me.”

I’d have plenty of time with Mom before heading off to college. I yawned and muttered, “She’s all yours, I’ll be fine.”

 

 

Note that Griddle is a fictitious town. Later in the story, you’ll find it ironic about the town’s name. I’ll share more next week. I’d love to know your thoughts and opinions. I will be out with friends all day today, so I won’t get to reading/commenting any snippets until later tonight. I’m not snubbing anyone, so I appreciate your understanding.

Click on the above link for the official list of participating authors. See you next time!

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25 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Ashley’s Suggestion

  1. Ashley is being a bit too perky for Melissa.

  2. Nice sister chat. I like how different they are.

  3. Super good eight Frank. So happy to know you’re settled in already and back joing in at WEWRIWA.

  4. We’re so glad you decided to participate, Frank. Yay on getting settled in!

    I think you write their dialogue exceptionally well. It always feels so real when I read it. Nicely done!

    • I’m always happy to participate and glad I got in on this week’s edition. I won’t be able to participate as much when I start grad school in a week. I’m glad you enjoyed the dialogue.

  5. Nice, typical exchange between two sisters.

  6. Nice snippet. Sounds like it’s going to be a good story.

    • In a way it will be good, but not so great for the girls since they are going to experience a life and death situation.

  7. Hey Frank. Hope your move went well. Nice place to be, Kentucky. I’m getting a kick out of how different the sisters are yet they get along. I’m sure they have their disagreements but I get the feeling that fundamentally they really care about each other.

    I always look forward to your excerpts so am glad you found time to do it, too.

    • Ashley and Melissa do care about each other and I will show that next week. I’ve been busy since I got to Kentucky and it’s a great place indeed. I’m currently looking for an apartment.

  8. Great dialogue. I’d leave out the part about the disgruntled voice when writing in the first person. A person wouldn’t say that about herself. I like the way you bring up the mother-daughter time. Great snippet.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/08/weekend-writing-warriors-081714.html

  9. I liked Kentucky, went to school there for six months. Best wishes in your new home! Yes, the town’s name is a bit too ironic indeed, given what’s going to happen! Lots of foreshadowing going on here…great 8!

    • Glad you caught the town name. I’m currently looking for an apartment here and getting ready before I start grad school.

  10. I can relate to this- my sister and I still argue about mom time. LOL Great snippet, Frank!

  11. Strong snippet. Great sister interaction.

  12. I’m with Melissa–strangers messing with your appendages is a bit strange.

    Depending on the context, you might consider “come with us” instead of “come with Mom and me.” It’s what someone is more likely to say, if it doesn’t make it unclear.

  13. Gem

    Smooth writing. Very nice!

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