It’s Sunday, which means another round of Weekend Writing Warriors. Thanks for stopping by to view my snippet. I hope you are all enjoying the Labor Day weekend – I know I am! I apologize for not commenting on everyone’s snippets last week; I was out all day. This week I’m continuing to share a snippet from my YA horror novella, The Burning Night. As you will see the atmosphere shifts from previous snippets.
Set-up: Melissa is lying on her bed in her room alone, debating whether to join her sister, when a mysterious voice starts calling her name.
The Eight:
Hanging out with Ashley downstairs was tempting, since I knew I’d have more fun – we had similar tastes in TV shows. I glanced at an old-school clock on the table beside my bed, watching the numbers change as my eyes got heavy.
“Me-li-ssaaa…Me-li-ssaaa,” a drowsy female voice filled the air.
A sharp gasp escaped me while every muscle in my body froze.
“Me-li-ssaaa…Me-li-ssaaa, your time is coming,” the eerie voice drawled again from within the walls. With my mouth hanging open, I leapt off the bed and scanned every wall in the room. Chills gushed from my shoulders all the way down to my toes.
“Wh-who s-said that?”
Kinda spooky, no? This is just the beginning for Melissa. Ashley is in the basement watching TV, in case you are wondering. To be continued next week. Thoughts and feedback are much appreciated. I’ll be out all day at a water park, and then watching fireworks with friends later in the evening (big fireworks show today, where I live). I’ll do my best to read/comment on everyone’s snippets before I head out, however I’ll do more later tonight and Monday. I appreciate your patience.
As for the rest of my life, the transition to my new life has gone well and many thanks to everyone for the wishes! Sometimes I forget how many people care about my well-being. Even though we have never actually met, I consider you all my friends, so thanks!
Click on the above link for the official list of participating authors. See you next Sunday!
Ah, the strangeness begins.
Definitely…and it only gets worse.
You definitely have me intrigued now! More next week?
Yes, there will be more.
LOL, I’d be freaking if I heard a voice calling my name, when I am by myself. Nice 8!
Juneta at Writer’s Gambit
There’s more to come.
A voice calling me while I’m alone in my room… and it knows my name too? Argh! I’d run for the hills. Have fun today, Frank!
That’s what makes it so spine-chilling. I would be running too.
I’m running with Elyzabeth, Frank. Weird spookiness ahead.
I’d be running too, and there’s more to come.
Have fun at the water park! I would be so freaked if I were Melissa. Yikes!
The water park was great. Things get scarier for Melissa.
Yikes! I’d be out of there! Chilling snippet!
It’s sets the tone for things to come.
Creepy! A room with talking walls is not a good place to be;). Great 8.
Thanks Tina. It gets bad for Melissa from here on.
Spooky, yes! Nice job setting the scene and showing Melissa’s reaction to the creepiness.
Thanks Alexis.
An eerie voice calling my name would get my attention too. Nice 8!
Thanks. The voice adds weirdness and mystery.
Oooh, creepy, Frank. I suggest changing the verb “gushed” to something like “skittered” or “slid” or “shot”. “Gushed” suggests a liquid and that’s a strange image to project in this situation. 🙂
I’ll make the change and thanks!
Spooky indeed! I bet she’s not sleepy now 🙂
Nope, she’s wide awake now.
Scary stuff this week! I’d grab my sister and RUN! Excellent excerpt, shivery in the extreme.
Thanks veronica. This is where the tide turns.
That is strange. I wouldn’t feel at ease if I’d heard that.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/08/weekend-writing-warriors-83114.html
I don’t think anyone would feel at ease.
Goosebumps, Frank! 🙂
No wonder Melissa is so snappish and unsettled when she reaches Ashley . . .
I’m glad you remember that. I’ll share that scene again soon.
Yikes! Is she hearing voices, or are there gremlins in the walls? That’d make me want to have some normal company, and fast!
But is the voice ‘drowsy,’ or is she?
The voice is drowsy. She’s actually hearing the voice from the woman, who tortures her later.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’d never sleep in that room again! I’m enjoying the build-up of this story.
I’m with you…I wouldn’t want to sleep in their either. Glad you liked it. It gets scarier from here.
That’s scary. You always manage to scare me. I shouldn’t be reading this at night.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. Reading horror stories at night isn’t the best idea.
Oooh, can’t wait to see what happens!