Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – The Mystery Voice

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8 sentences from any story, published/unpublished and that’s all it takes to be on Weekend Writing Warriors. Fall is fast approaching, but it takes longer for it to show up here in the Bluegrass State. I’m continuing to share snippets from my YA horror novella, The Burning Night, which is in the editing stages.

Set-up: A spooky woman’s voice is speaking to Melissa from within the walls of her bedroom, which leaves her baffled and freaked out. The mystery woman is the first to speak.

The Eight:

 

“Me-li-ssaaa…your time is coming, prepare yourself!”

The spine-chilling tone swirled around every corner of the room, wrapping cold waves around my body, while my hands trembled as I stepped back. “Wh-who are you? Wh-what do y-y-you want?”

“Poor little Ashley’s down by herself, Me-li-ssaaa.”

“H-h-how did you know her name? D-d-don’t you dare go near my sister!!”

My legs suddenly became weak and shook to the point where I thought I was going to lose my balance.

 

Wow! It knows Ashley’s name, too. I bet you’re wondering what the voice means with “Your time is coming, prepare yourself” bit. What’s Melissa going to do? More next week on what happens next.

Click on the above link for the official list of participating authors. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

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29 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – The Mystery Voice

  1. Somebody’s been doing some spying.

  2. Christina Ochs

    Dang voice knows too much. 🙂 Great, now I’m worried about Ashley, too. It’s not a good time to get shaky legs, Melissa. Although perfectly understandable.

  3. Super good snippet, Frank. Take care, my friend.

  4. Definitely spooky! Really well done, Frank. I don’t think you need to change a thing in this bit.

    (I didn’t sign up this week, still trying to catch up from 2 weeks ago!)

  5. Gem

    Scary and horrifying to find out someone’s been stalking you and your family. Well done!

  6. Ugh, scary voices… so not good.

  7. siobhanmuir

    Yipe. That would freak me out pretty good. I would suggest removing a couple of exclamation points. That’s the equivalent of shouting. So if she’s just being sharp, you might want to remove them and let the action give that impression. Good snippet, Frank. 🙂

  8. burnsmillie

    This is terrifying! Edited well Frank.

  9. This scene reminds me a bit of a Twilight Zone episode, the one where a little girl exits through her wall into another dimension, and she’s talking to her parents through the wall. That episode was really creepy, but then again, most Twilight Zone episodes are 😄

    I’m not sure of where this snippet is chronologically? If it’s before the incident where they become trapped in her room, then I think the voice is kind of warning her of that. Maybe the voice isn’t malevolent? Definitely creepy as hell though. You captured Melissa’s reaction well with the shaking and the trembling 🙂 Looking forward to next week ^^

  10. Nice snippet. I love spooky voices.

  11. Well, it wouldn’t be that hard for something that can see and hear you to know your name, but the fact that someone is watching them is plenty creepy. Especially the way the voice is dragging out words–definitely an intent to scare!

  12. Creepy, creepy! I like how she tries to stand up for her sister despite being scared herself. Great 8.

  13. Like a person’s worst nightmare all right! I want them to RUN and get out of there, but of course then there’s be no story. Shivery excerpt!

  14. Maybe all she needs is a good dose of lithium!
    Nice 8!

  15. Creepy, scary, and you’ve written that very well, Frank 🙂

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