Hello all! It’s great to be back on Weekend Writing Warriors after so long. I’m glad you stopped by to read my snippet. I’m offering one from my poetry collection, Reflections & Dreams, which is in the final editing stages. It’s a big change from teenagers hopping around on a hot floor.
This poem is entitled, Blue Rain, which is about an ex pursuing you after the relationship is done. I wrote it after my divorce. Here it is:
Step out into the street,
Can feel the blue rain,
Droplets of deep sorrow,
Kissing my face,
Washing away life’s energy.
Soon as I feel the blue rain,
I know you’re near.
Casting the shadow of black love,
Hazel eyes, dark freckles haunting me
Soon as I feel the blue rain,
Angels of death now approaching,
Come to whisk away my soul,
Leave me empty as the bottle,
Lying in the beggar’s cold hand.
When your name shows on display,
I feel the blue rain.
Your voice sends shock waves,
Crawling all over my body,
Can’t get rid of you.
Indulging in the sunshine and sweet brew,
Then you appear.
Away with the sun,
Gusty wind arrives,
On with the blue rain.
This is my first time sharing poetry, so I’m not sure how you’ll all react. But I’d love to know your thoughts. I’ll share another poem next week. I won’t be on W.W.W. every week as my semester is busier than the last one.
For those avid Super Bowl fans, good luck to whoever you’re pulling for. Since my beloved Buccaneers didn’t even make playoffs, I guess I’m pulling for the Pats. Click on the link above for the official list of participating authors.
It’s a good poem, Frank. The sorrow and despair are clear. Nicely done.
That’s what i was aiming for. Thanks Siobhan.
Very wistful, yet lovely. Welcome back!
Thanks Christina!
Emotive… I like how it keeps coming back to the blue rain, showing how it permeates every little crevice in his life.
Isn’t it interesting that I’ve assigned it a male POV? I just realized that. 🙂
It’s supposed to be in male POV, I think it’s more coincidental than interesting!
I like the use of blue rain, it evokes both color, sound and touch in two words. Then again, I like the color blue.
Blue is supposes to covey sadness. It’s my favorite color.
How nice to have a piece of poetry to read on a Sunday, lovely, emotive and beautifully lyrical.
I submitted this once for a contest and it came fourth place. Glad you liked it.
Lovely reflective piece to invoke all the senses. Well done.
Thanks, I’ll share more next week.
Enjoyed the poem, despite the bittersweetness…that first stanza really hooked me and drew me on. As everyone has said, the blue rain was a wonderful way to set the mood. Wow!
I’m thrilled you enjoyed it. I’ll be sharing another poem next week.
Beautiful and very much on point.
Thank you.
Love the repetition, it’s melancholy and lyrical, like a heavy blanket of storm.
The repetition makes it poetic. You’ve picked up on the main themes.
You have conveyed the emotional wallop of a break up, or a loss, and it’s ability to push out happiness very well, especially in the early stages. Good choice of words and details. Maybe tweak the cadence a bit. Eager to read more of you poetry.
Thanks for the suggestion on the cadence bit.
I like the comparison between the ex and rain, especially how that rain can ruin a perfectly good day. You conveyed a break-up very well.
Thanks!
The third verse is especially haunting, Frank, and the last verse really rang true to me.
Thank you for sharing this.
There will be another poem next week.
Bittersweet. My favorite was the third verse. I’ll look forward to your next poem.
Thanks! The next poem relates to Spain.
Wow, like most of the readers before me, I am simply caught up by the blue rain. On the one hand rain symbolizes refreshing & coming of new growth, on the other hand the blue makes it awash in sadness. The visual is amazing. This is really good.
Glad you liked it.
You don’t often see people sharing poetry for WeWriWa! I may have to do that one week. Thanks for the inspiration! 🙂
Enjoyed the poem, too, obviously. Thanks so much for sharing!
I noticed that few authors share poetry. That’s one of the reasons why I shared one. Glad you liked it.
Yay!!!! You’re back! I’m so excited. Love the poem! Don’t you hate how when your at that break up point everything around you reminds you of the person? Actually when I split with my ex I wrote a ton of depressing poems. If you go on poetry.com you can post it and it will save there for years, sometimes hey have contests there also. Another thing I was thinking, did you ever think of trying to sell this as a song? That Blue Rain is catchy.
I just want to publish it as a poem, no song intended.
hey Frank, thought you might catch this comment down here. We sent you an email, but maybe you haven’t seen it yet? Your comments are closed on your wewriwa post for this week–2/8/15 🙂 Unless you planned it that way. 🙂
Hi teresea, sorry about that. I’ve fixed it so comments can be made. I don’t know how that happened, but sorry!