Weekend Writing Warriors/#8sunday – Who’s That Girl?

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It’s time for the 8 sentence blog hop by Weekend Writing Warriors. If you want to read more snippets from authors like me, or participate, click on the link. I can’t believe it’s been a month since my last participation!

I’m sharing an eight from a WIP called, Let Go. This is a YA romance novel set in southern Florida that deals with two college students. My main character, Ryan, is on his way to class when he sees a girl staring at him from a breezeway. This is where the two future lovers see each other for the first time. This is in third-person POV.

The eight:

As he neared the stairs leading to the hall entrance, he looked up and saw a slim girl staring down at him from a breezeway one floor up. She was clad in a tank top as she stood behind a wall that obscured her from the waist down. A gentle breeze fluffed her silky cocoa brown hair that kissed her shoulders. Her pale, mysterious oval face and drowsy hazel eyes made his stomach flutter, yet he wondered what else she wearing. Ryan craned his neck scanning to see if maybe she was looking at someone or something else, but when he looked up, she still had her eyes locked on him. He squinted, wondering why she was staring at him, and glanced at a puka shell bracelet on her right wrist. Her hard stare was like a laser, and he bent down on pretense of needing to tie his shoes.

“What’s with her?” he uttered under his breath.

I think I’d be asking myself that too. I wish I could say I’ll be sharing more next week, but I’ll be away in New Orleans. This semester has kept me busy, which is why I’ve been away from W.W.W. Fortunately, I’ve made time to work on The Burning Night, which is closer and closer to being finished. I plan on sharing more from that soon. I will come back to share more from my stories when I can. Until then, happy reading and writing!

I’d like give a shout out to Teresa Cypher for mentioning me on Twitter during the week – Thanks a million! I’m glad you’ve been touched by my stories, as I’ve been touched by yours!

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , ,

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26 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8sunday – Who’s That Girl?

  1. Well written, Frank. You paint quite a picture of the girl and keep the reader interested. Have a great trip. NO is a special town.

  2. Welcome back!

    Ooh, the girl sounds lovely, though maybe a bit intense. Now I want to know how they actually meet.

    Enjoy NOLA!

  3. Hey Frank, I’m so glad to see you back. “A gentle breeze fluffed her silky cocoa brown hair that kissed her shoulders.”-I love the phrasing of this sentence as well as the whole snippet in general. It really flows and I’m intrigued with her attention toward the young man. 🙂

    • I think that phrase is the strongest part of the snippet. I’m sorry I haven’t been around, but school has kept me busy.

  4. Intriguing set-up. Looking forward to learning more.
    Enjoy your time in New Orleans.

  5. Wonderful eight, Frank. Love that she is wearing a puka shell bracelet — my favorite shell!

  6. I just love how even though he wants to know why she’s just staring at him he still have time to check her out. Love it.

  7. Lovely, fluid snippet this week, Frank. I think you might need a comma between neck & scanning.

  8. She seems lovely but mysterious!

  9. That’s going to be a great “how did you meet” story, I can tell.

    This sentence needs a tweak, I think, to make sense: “She was clad in a tank top *and* stood behind a wall…

  10. I love that last line, Frank. It says so much about the MC, and it drew me toward the scene. I might have done the same. lol.

  11. Great visuals!

  12. chellecordero

    I can’t help but wonder if the wall is hiding something significant.
    Her staring is mysterious, I wonder what she is thinking.

  13. I liked the description of the girl, very easy to visualize her from all the details. And the boy’s reaction was excellent. Terrific snippet!

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