Weekend Writing Warriors – That Girl Again!

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Click on the Weekend Writing Warriors link for the official page of participating writers. This is a great way to sample books and find new writers.

It seems like forever since my last participation, but I thought I would offer one from my WIP, Let Go. A YA romance. Here my MC Ryan sees that mystery girl sitting outside in the courtyard of his university campus. He wants to know why she threw a piece of paper at him in class (they both have the same class!). You get a little sense of what she’s like.

The eight:

Ryan froze as he saw that girl sitting on the rim of a bowl-like fountain in the center of the courtyard. She took a drag from a cigarette, keeping her eyes closed and ignoring the cluster of students passing by. Ryan stepped forward and studied her. Snowy white skin, baggy jeans and flip-flops dangling from her toes, a whisker from falling off. Feelings of anger, confusion and curiosity swirled through his mind as he shuffled towards her. Opening her eyes, she looked up at him.

Wrinkling his brow, he asked, “Hey, why the hell did you throw that piece of paper at me?”

Taking another drag, she shrugged.

“That’s it?”

She’s gotta have a better answer than that! I’ll share more next week. I imagine you are all counting down to summer, and hopefully it’s a nice day in your neck of the woods.

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23 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors – That Girl Again!

  1. Hey, welcome back! Wow, that girl seems like a cool, mysterious customer. Ryan’s gonna have his hands full. If he’s lucky. 🙂

  2. Great description, and yeah, I hope she has a better explanation than that. 😉 We learned a lot in a little, so great work! 😀

    • Thanks! She doesn’t have the best explanation. She’s one of those people that believes she isn’t doing anything wrong.

  3. Welcome back, Frank! I’m definitely curious about these two and why that was her answer. What is she expecting? Why did she really throw the paper? Great snippet!

  4. Nice description, Frank. You drew a great picture of the scene and what happens next, I wonder?

  5. I love how she just shrugs at him. Like it’s no big deal. Great snippet.

  6. Ah, what’s a harmless little piece of paper between – uh, well, whatever these two are..? I’m guessing it spiced up the class, anyway, and that’s something.

    I think I like this girl. She sees something she likes – and chucks a piece of paper at it, heedless of the dangers of paper cuts or ridicule…

    The only thing I can suggest, here, has to do with this line: ~ Feelings of anger, confusion and curiosity swirled through his mind as he shuffled towards her.~ This bit would have added punch if you described the physical sensations as well as or instead of simply labeling those emotions.

    It’s a tempting little snippet, and I’m looking forward to getting to know both Ryan and his mystery girl.

    By the way, as the unschooling mom of a new teen and a self-described “Medium Girl” (you know, not little anymore, and not big yet), I love the tagline. Young people can absolutely be as heroic as anyone else. =)

  7. siobhanmuir

    I’d change “whisker” to “whisper”, but other than that, good snippet, Frank. And welcome back. 🙂

  8. Nice snippet. Love the whisker comment. Whisper would work too, but the image of a thin line like thread, but different works.

  9. Nice to have you back with us! Enjoyed the excerpt, this girl is highly mysterious and intriguing, so your hero is justifiably hooked! Me too – we both need to know more LOL.

  10. I can picture her perfectly, right down to the shrug.

  11. Love the description, though I have to admit I wonder what shirt she’s wearing–all that detail on her pants and shoes. I especially love the flip-flops.

  12. So glad you’re back, Frank!

    I don’t know where I’ve been–this WIP is new to me. Sounds intriguing. You’re writing a couple of interesting characters! 🙂

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