Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Mystery Girl

better-wewriwa

Visit the official page of Weekend Writing Warriors. A fun way to read samples of writing from a variety of genres. I’m glad you stopped by my site. I can’t believe I haven’t participated as much this year as I’ve done in the past. It’s been a wacky winter/spring for me. I’m offering an eight from my YA romance novel, Let Go, which is a WIP.

Ryan meets the mystery girl who threw a piece of paper at him in class. When he asks her why, she just shrugs. Ryan naturally doesn’t accept this, so he persists. The girl is the first to speak:

“I dunno…seemed kinda tense in there, stud.”

Ryan flinched, fanning himself with his shirt to keep cool under the blistering mid morning sun. She took a drag and stared at him with sleepy eyes.

“I wasn’t tense,” Ryan said defensively, “you don’t – “

“You were, stud, I saw ya.”

“Why you callin’ me stud?”

She yawned and brushed away some cigarette ash from her jeans. She maintained a relaxed posture, and not even the heat of the day nor the constant passing of students seemed to bother her.

She does a great job remaining so calm, but she’s being a little cocky not answering Ryan. He doesn’t learn her name until the next chapter, which is why she remains nameless. Your thoughts are most welcomed.

One more week and the semester will be done for me, though I’ll be doing research for my thesis over the summer. Have a great Sunday everyone!

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20 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Mystery Girl

  1. Ha! She knows exactly how to get under his skin. Poor Ryan. 🙂

  2. This girl just screams trouble. I like her. Great eight!

  3. This is great, Frank! Very visual, yet I can add some details of my own. I bet Ryan’s getting frustrate but he’s probably also feeling off-center with her unexpected nonchalance. I’m pretty curious about that girl!

    And best of luck with your research. I know how it is when you have a lot of things to juggle. I keep wanting to participate in WeWriWa again but too much going on.:-)

  4. I’m looking forward to more and personally I hope Ryan forgets about her and finds a non-smoker who’s worthy of him. Playing the mom here.

  5. Love the emotion here! She’s definitely winning this exchange.

    A thought–you might describe her posture instead of saying “she maintained a relaxed posture.” Like “She sprawled against (whatever), and not even…”

  6. I like the portrayal of the girl because she seems very real to me. I think I’ve known girls just like her! Can’t wait for more of this one…great snippet.

  7. I love her characterization! I could see her, smell the cigarette smoke, hear the cocky edge to her nonchalance. Nicely done, Frank!

  8. normandiea

    I think she’s got his number. Great snippet!

  9. Stud, ha! I love it. She is a fun character. Great writing!

  10. It’s an interesting character detail that she smokes cigarettes. It’s not super common now like it was 20-30 years ago. I could probably name more acquaintances of mine through the years that smoked pot vs. cigarettes. I did have a friend in eight grade that smoked cigarettes and she kind of reminds me of this character. She was someone that didn’t follow the rules but wanted to do it in her own way. It’s kind of funny to see Ryan get all flustered 😄 Oy, I don’t miss the awkward social interactions of high school or college for that matter! Was definitely an interesting snippet 😀

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