Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – More Tickling!

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For a sampling of snippets from many fine authors, head over to Weekend Writing Warriors. I remembered to sign up this time. Happy Mother’s Day to everyone and I hope you get plenty of fawning from loved ones! I’d like to send a shout-out to my own mother, who truly has the endurance of a fighter. She’s taught me never to give up and not to “play ball” with those that are up to no good.

I’m continuing to share a snippet from The Burning Night.

This picks up from the last eight where Ashley has pinned her sister, Melissa, down on her bed and is tickling her feet. Melissa’s feet are extremely ticklish. Ashley takes full pleasure in making her sister suffer, and naturally doesn’t give in to her pleas. This is Melissa’s POV and she speaks first. The snippet is in the new 8-10 sentence rule.

“S-s-stop you du-dumbass, it-it’s pure torture!”

Ashley’s fingers were like the bristles of a spinning power brush. I tried to punch her, but the tickling jolted every nerve in my body like an electric shock. She laughed as she tickled one foot then the other, sending me into another storm of squealing and laughter. Then her fingers hit the most ticklish spots – the area just below the balls of my feet.

“A-ashley, s-seriously! I-I-I’m gonna pa-pass out!”

I pounded the comforter repeatedly, hoping she’d take that as my way of saying, “Uncle”. My ribs started to ache from constant squirming and uncontrollable laughing.

Oh that Ashley. Poor Melissa. How much more can she take? This is nothing compared to what happens to her feet later in the story (wink, wink). This shows the relationship between the sisters, and I think it’s kinda cute. I look forward to reading your snippets today.

I needed some advice, if any of you have expertise on this. I want to self publish a poetry collection, but I’m not sure if I should have them professionally edited. Any thoughts on this?

Have a great Sunday!

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31 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – More Tickling!

  1. Only a sister gets away with such torture! I am squirming in sympathy.

  2. Tickling can sometimes be anything from funny to irritating to painful! Well done.

  3. Oh great, Ashley and Melissa, I’ve missed them! You really know how to draw the reader in and my ribs almost hurt from reading this snippet! Love it. I would say as far as the editor, look for the publisher first. They may have someone who edits it for you, but if you have the money, go for it! Good luck to you either way, I love your poetry.

  4. Sister definitely deserves a good smack. Enough is enough. Take Neva’s advice, Frank first.

  5. If I’ve read your snippets right, their relationship is going to change a bit as things get weirder–not that they aren’t close, but Ashley might learn to respect Melissa a little more, yes? 🙂

    • Yes, the events will bring them closer. She respects Melissa; she’s like an idol to her. Ashley does this because Melissa will be going away for college.

  6. Oh, man… good/bad memories. My sister used to tickle me until I stopped breathing, I was laughing so hard. Family, right?

  7. Oh my what torture! I would have been crying not laughing I think! Maybe it was gentle tickling! Happy scene.

  8. Excellent foreshadowing of some stuff to come! Enjoyed getting back to these characters for a moment…

  9. Excellent description! I really feel for her. My son has ticklish feet like that and tickling them really IS torture. Very well done.

  10. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Sisterly love! Perfect imagery. 🙂 Go with Neva’s advice. A publisher will supply the editor. But if you want to go with the self-publishing avenue, I would definitely have someone look it over first. 🙂

  11. Reblogged this on Cecilia Corona.

  12. Oh sisterly love! I can understand that. Great job with the description.

  13. Of course I remember what happens to their feet later. Nice foreshadowing. 🙂

  14. Oh my, that sounds like pure torture. Only family can be so mean;).

  15. Interesting read thinking foreshadowing concept! Really liked your description.

  16. I wonder if anyone was able to read that without smiling? You did a great job of tapping into a shared memory from childhood, Frank. Most of have had tickle-fights with siblings. 🙂

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