Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Room For Three

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Welcome to the wonderful world of Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link to see the full rules for participation, as well as the list of participating authors. My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Paris. What happened on Friday was truly horrendous.

Today I’m offering an excerpt from my new WIP, Room For Three, which is a NA contemporary/romance novel. It takes place in present-day Miami, Florida.

My MC, Joey, is mopping the kitchen floor of her new condo. Her Irish boyfriend, Mike, is watching her and makes a cheeky comment. This snippet has been modified to fit the 8-10 sentence rule, and this is Joey’s POV.

          I mop up the last section of dust off the hardwood floor. As I push my hair away from my eyes, I see Mike leaning against the fridge with his arms folded, watching me with a big grin. Only it’s a playful grin – the one he wears when he wants to tease me.

           “What?” I ask with a chuckle.
            His eyes travel down to my feet. “Aye, Molly and Maggie are gettin’ big every day, think you need ta give all them crisps you eat a rest.”
             A soft laugh escapes my throat. Molly and Maggie are what he calls my feet, though I’m not sure which one is which. When he first discovered my love for foot rubs he decided to give them names, but I’ve never asked him why Maggie and Molly. 
            With a playful sneer, I waggle a finger at him, and say in a baby-like voice, “Don’t listen to him girls, he doesn’t mean it.”

Mike definitely has ways with words. In case you’re wondering why I’ve chosen a boy’s name for a girl, her full name is Joanne. I’d love to know your thoughts, as I’ve just started working on this.

Blurb: Joey Porter has a lot to look forward to. It’s her senior year of college, and she’s got her boyfriend, whom she met during her study abroad semester in Spain, living with her. Nothing could be better, except now her younger sister, Sara, is attending the same college as her as a freshman. And thanks to a glitch with her dorm, Joey has to take her into her new home. Things begin to take a turn for the worst, and suddenly Joey discovers that this house isn’t big enough for her, her sister and her boyfriend. Someone’s got to go, but who?

I will be in New Mexico next week for Thanksgiving, so regrettably, I won’t be participating in next week’s W.W.W. So with that in mind have a safe and joyous Thanksgiving everyone!

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22 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Room For Three

  1. Lovely, natural dialogue Frank. Looking forward to reading much more!

    • Thank you. I hope to share more but it won’t be every week, as I’m going to be busy for the next two months.

  2. Interesting, he’s got names for her feet. I’ve heard of men naming their cars. Sounds like he’s got a foot fetish. Great snippet.

  3. nancygideon

    Naming her feet – LOVE it!! Very enjoyable snippet. Great dialog.

  4. Cute, that he’s named her feet. Nice start to what sounds like an interesting story.

  5. Charming, Frank. I think Joey should have the boyfriend help out with mopping. Teach him that’s a joint job when you live with someone.
    Happy holiday, my friend.

  6. owlladywriterMarcia

    Hey Frank. Good to see you here. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

    I really like this excerpt. My only suggestion is to drop the final repetition of “Maggie and Molly.” I think you could do all right to say something like “but I never asked him why he picked those.”

    Your characters are always easy to sympathize with so looking forward to whatever comes next!

  7. Okay, part of me is very, very amused by Mike’s naming of a girl’s feet (foot fetish, much)? Another part of me is very very annoyed that he’s implying she should lose weight (at least that’s how I read it). If she were pregnant and growing it might actually be cute/funny, but when she’s obviously working hard to help with housework, it just irritates me.

    Sorry, my feminist/anti-body-policing button is easily pushed these days. LOL. Very realistic snippet, nonetheless!

    • He’s trying to be funny, and I sympathize with your views. He isn’t exactly a model boyfriend, which causes problems for them later in the story.

  8. Interesting to be reading a new story from you! (But still with feet involved LOL.) I enjoyed the dialog, felt quite natural. Great snippet!

  9. I like it. I think it’s cute that he named her feet.

    Welcome back, Frank! Good to see you. Happy Thanksgiving–enjoy your trip to NM. 🙂

  10. …no, I would have to ask why he named them that, if they were my feet. Interesting dynamic. The weird couples are always the most fun!

    • Joey isn’t very strong at the beginning. She really fell in love with Mike for the wrong reasons, which she discovers later in the story.

  11. This is adorable. I love how it is framing your characters.

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