Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday -Before the Trouble Begins

It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time. Full guidelines can be found by clicking the link to the website. I can’t believe how long it’s been since my last participation! With all the traveling I did over Thanksgiving and Christmas, not to mention my comp exam and finishing my research paper, well I had to put this on hold.

Anyways, I’d like to offer a snippet from Room For Three, a NA romance WIP. In this scene, my heroine, Joey, is sitting on the balcony of her condo. She is feeling down because her little sister is moving into her dorm at the same college Joey is attending. Joey doesn’t like the idea of being at the same school as her sister. This is in her POV.

A light breeze rustles a lonely palm tree by the tennis courts. I stare at it hard, hoping its tropical beauty will help take my mind off the fact that my little sister will be at the same college as me next week. Of all the colleges in Florida, she had to pick Miami. It’s supposed to my school, I should be the only Hurricane in the family.

I swing a leg over the arm of my chair as gloom cocoons me like an unlucky fly that’s just been covered in a spider’s silk. A ‘plop’ sound breaks the air, snapping me out of a trance-like state. Looking down, I realize that my flip-flop has fallen off my foot.

I hear the glass door behind me slide open. Turning around, I see Mike holding two coffee mugs by their handles, steam snaking out of the cups. I hope he’s brought coffee because I could really do with a jolt of caffeine. 

 

FYI, Mike is her boyfriend. More from this next week. You will find out more about why Joey doesn’t like her sister joining her at her school. I appreciate your feedback, keeping in mind this is in the first draft stage.

Sorry again for being absent from W.W.W. for so long, but I’m glad I’ve finally found time to join you all again. Enjoy the Super Bowl today, too!

 

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25 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday -Before the Trouble Begins

  1. Lots of great questions raised here. What does Joey have against her sister? Why does Mike’s face fall?

    • You find out more about the Joey-sister problem as the story unfolds. It’s what brings about the conflict in the story.

  2. His face falls at seeing her? Not good!

  3. Nice to see you here again! Not sure why her boyfriend is disappointed that she puts her flip flop back on. Kinda lost me there a bit but I enjoyed the flow of the snippet. Seems like a good story coming at us!

    • He’s disappointed because he can see that she’s depressed. Thanks for commenting! I hope to participate more. The last two months have been chaotic.

  4. Hey Frank, glad you’re back! You’ve got some wonderful details here. Your characters are easy to like and I can honestly say I’ve enjoyed every single excerpt.

    As a moderator, though, I need to mention that today’s excerpt does have 11 sentences and our limit is 10.

    Hope your world settles down enough so you have more time to post 🙂

    ~Marcia

  5. Author Jessica E. Subject

    Great insight! College is a time to get away from family, make a life for yourself. I would assume that is why she wouldn’t want her sister there, but there could be other reasons as well.

    • There are more reasons – a lot more! They have a rough past, and her sister will cause havoc for her as the story progresses!

  6. I love this line, Frank: “…as gloom cocoons me like an unlucky fly that’s just been covered in a spider’s silk.” Lots of information in this snippet, and your writing is incredibly smooth! Nicely done!

    Glad to have you back!

  7. This has to be more that mere sibling rivalry–I’m curious to see what it is!

  8. Good to see you, Frank!

    This excerpt is good–the writing is very smooth! I LOVE this line: “…as gloom cocoons me like an unlucky fly that’s just been covered in a spider’s silk.” Nice!

  9. Nice to meet you. I must not have been around back when you posted regularly but I am glad I got the chance to sneak a peek at your writing now. Beautiful scene. Love the description and can’t wait to find out why she is so against her sister going to the same school.

    • Nice to meet you, too! The last time I posted a snippet was back in early November. Normally, I post regularly but the last two months has forced me to put it on hold. Glad you like the story so far.

  10. Hey Frank, I’ve missed you way too much. Be well.

    • I’ve missed you too! I hope life will permit me to participate more, but things are a bit rough at the moment.

  11. Welcome back! Also, I really liked this week’s snippet! Looking forward to more!

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