Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – “Have You Ever Considered Yoga?”

weekend_writing_warriorsveteransbadge_4

Welcome to the 8-10 sentence blog hop Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link to see who’s participating, and find out how you can join in. The temperatures seem to be doing that rollercoaster thingie here in Cincinnati, which means you gotta take advantage of the warm days. I’m offering a final excerpt from Room For Three. And when I say final I mean it will be the last one for the time being. The snippet has been modified to meet the 10-sentence limit.

Sarah is wearing Joey’s shoes without permission, and Joey demands that she take them off. Sarah isn’t listening. This is in Joey’s POV and she speaks first:

 

 “I said get your dirty feet outta my flip flops now!”

 A couple of girls snicker to my left as more heads turn our way.

“My feet aren’t dirty, silly,” Sarah says with laughter floating up from her throat.

With my hands firmly on my hips, I step forward until my toes touch hers. “Sarah, I’m not kiddin’ around, go home and get your own shoes on! If you’re gonna live with me and Mike, you’ll-“

“Have you, like, considered doing yoga?” With a phony smile, she waves her hands in a circular motion in front of my face. “Seriously, you need to, like, do somethin’ about these negative vibes you’re givin’ off, they’re kinda creepin’ me out.”

 

Boy, Sarah just doesn’t get it. As a result of a history of sibling rivalry, Sarah is getting back at her sister, and her vengeful acts will only get worse as the story goes on. I hope you’ve enjoyed snippets from this story, and next week I will move on to another story.

I welcome your feedback as it helps with the editing process. Keep in mind that this is an unedited first draft version.

Thanks for visiting my blog today!

 

Categories: Weekend Writing Warriors | Tags: , , , , , ,

Post navigation

28 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – “Have You Ever Considered Yoga?”

  1. She has very passive-aggressive feet.

  2. Now that would have provoked me to cause her grevious bodily harm! Nice job Frank. This is going to get messy!

  3. You’ve got the kid speak down just right. Good snippet.

  4. Oh man, I hate it when you’re justifiably angry and someone tells you you need to settle down, relax, do yoga. Riiiiggght! 🙂

    • Sarah is a yogi and thinks she’s better than other people because she practices it. I agree with your reaction because that’s how I’d feel!

  5. A very believable exchange between the sisters, loved the out of the blue suggestion she should take up yoga! Great snippet.

    • I liked the sudden yoga suggestion myself. It shows that Sarah’s not listening to her sister’s concerns.

  6. Another great excerpt, but that’s no surprise! As somebody with a similar history between me and my sister, I can relate to Joey’s frustration. No more of this story for a while? Darn! But at least we get something new. 😀

    Since you mentioned feedback, you do have a repeated word in the second sentence. Very easy to do that though. Looking forward to whatever else you share with us.

    ~Marcia

    • Thank you for the feedback. I noticed the repeated word, too but couldn’t think of a better word. I will share this story again soon.

  7. She doesn’t seem to be considering the consequences of her actions–I would think if Sarah is living with Joey, then Joey probably has the ability to toss her sister out on her butt.

    • You are right, and not to blow the picture for you, but Joey DOES toss her out later in the story.

  8. Grrrr… I’d want to knock her into next week, sister or not. lol Good scene, Frank!

  9. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Loved the banter, but she’s definitely asking for it. lol

  10. bonniegill

    Great voice. I love the sister bickering.

  11. Can’t help but say it– I kinda love Sarah. 😉 Great snippet!

    • You’re the only one that’s rooting for Sarah, but I see why you cling to her. I personally admire how she doesn’t care about Joey’s concerns.

  12. siobhanmuir

    Sarah’s heading for a throat punch. Good snippet, Frank. 🙂

    • This is not boding well for Sarah in the long run, but it takes a lot more Joey-sabotaging before Sarah gets what’s coming.

  13. That takes me back to going head to head with my brothers. Very real voices for these characters, and both distinct.

  14. It’s so annoying to have the person in the wrong tell YOU to calm down. Hopefully Joey can be the bigger person here, but probably not because where’s the story in that?

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: