Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday -Here Comes Mom

This is the 8-10 sentence blog hop, Weekend Writing Warriors, the place to get your Sunday sampling of snippets from a smorgasbord of writers. Click on the link to see who’s participating.

Another snippet from Never Let Go, currently in the editing process. Last week I shared one where Melissa has just been pranked by her younger sister, Ashley, albeit spraying lemonade in her face. In this snippet, we’ll see how Melissa reacts:

            Anger simmered inside me as I finally managed to open one eye.  The lingering juice made my vision kind of blurry, but not enough where I couldn’t see the cocoon of joy wrapped on my sister’s face – the kind after success in tormenting me. “Ha-ha, I gotcha, I gotcha!”  

            “That’s it, you’re dead,” I grabbed a vase from a table, cranked it back as Ashley gasped and shielded herself with her arms.

            “Melissa Lauren McNamara don’t you dare,” my mother’s voice thundered in the air.

             Ashley and I froze as we watched her come down the stairs, my heart dashed from her clogs thumping on the wooden staircase. “Put it down this instant!”

            I set the vase down on the table, giving Ashley the coldest frown I could and wiping the sticky juice off my face and neck before it could drip onto my shirt.

            Ashley cringed with red cheeks under our mother’s disapproving glare. “And as for you…Ashley Joanne Elizabeth, spraying your sister with pop?”


Dang, Mom! Why’d you have to spoil the fun? You know a mother means business when she uses your full name. I sometimes wonder how I came up with my characters’ names. There is a reason why Ashley pranks Melissa, and it’s revealed near the end of the story, but I can’t give it away yet. Next week, I’ll share a snippet from a different scene.

As always, your feedback is most appreciated.


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32 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday -Here Comes Mom

  1. Author Jessica E. Subject

    At least she knew what both of them were up to. If it were me, I would have been caught at what I was about to do, and I younger brother would have gotten away with what he’d done to me. Nice excerpt!

  2. I’m with Jessica on this one, Frank. I am glad that Mum did not automatically blame Melissa. Good for her!

  3. Ooh, that sounds like one sticky mess! Great writing!

  4. Beautifully written. So true to life.

  5. Ah, well. That gives Melissa time to plot some true revenge when Mom’s not around. 🙂

    And now I must put the mod hat on: Could you please be sure to add a live link to the WeWriWa site? Thanks!

  6. UhhOhh! The dreaded middle name!! They’re in trouble now. Nice snippet, Frank!

  7. Any time the mother has to resort to using middle names, the situation is dire! Enjoyed the excerpt, was glad she understood both were at fault.

  8. It’s so easy to picture all of this, it really feels like I’m stepping into the room with them. Wonderful writing, as usual.


  9. She was going to throw a vase at her sister? 😮 No wonder the mother decided to use middle names! I don’t have a middle name so my mom would use the “tone” plus the “look”. Scary stuff. xDD

    • Ashley pissed her off enough to make her want to throw the vase at her. You’re the first person I’ve met that doesn’t have a middle name

  10. Boy oh boy, does this snippet ever remind me of my sisters. You’d think we’d have outgrown the behavior, but based on our last get together, that hasn’t happened.

    • I’m sorry your last meeting with your sister didn’t go so well. Thanks for your comments though.

  11. LOL! Takes me back. Good snippet.

  12. Mom using her full name worked well. Before that, this fight was escalating like a nuclear arms race.

  13. A mother always knows… I’m glad she stopped them, I’m a little worried about what Melissa was planning on doing with that vase…

  14. Busted! But just in time, before something actually got busted.

  15. It’s always cool to get the character’s full names as a reader! I want to know how old they are because this prank makes me think these girls are fairly young.

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