Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Rumble at the Table

The is the 8-10 sentence blog hop hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link for the list of participators and rules for participation. What a week it’s been, especially for those of you in the U.K.. I can’t believe Britain is actually leaving the E.U.

More from Never Let Go. Last week we got a glimpse of Melissa and Ashley’s father albeit his reaction to a gift from Ashley’s boyfriend.

In this excerpt, Melissa addresses her concern to her family during dinner about a minivan parked outside the country house, which she noticed in a scene earlier. Her mom explains that it belongs to the owner of a house named Angie, who leaves it there when she’s not present. Melissa, however, doesn’t buy it. She’s the first to speak:

“She has one car, but leaves the other one here…in the middle of the woods? C’mon, am I only one at this table who thinks that’s a little stupid?”

My parents glowered at me with their arms folded across their chests.

“I know what you’re trying to do, young lady,” my dad said disapprovingly, “but it will not work.”

“Oh knock it off Dad, I swear you just love bullyin’ me, don’tcha?!”

“Melissa don’t talk back to your father,” my mother barked.

Ashley rubbed her temples, muttering under her breath.

There was no point fighting with Dad – not in front of Ashley. She had witnessed more of our heated arguments than she would’ve liked to remember.

“I’m goin’ back to my room,” I declared, picking up my plate and washing it in the sink.

 

Things are heating up between Melissa and her dad. She’s also right about the minivan as the mystery behind it is revealed later in the story.

I will be away next week, so you won’t see my name on the list.

Thanks for visiting my blog and taking the time to read this excerpt. Feel free to offer your feedback!

better-wewriwa

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31 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Rumble at the Table

  1. I wonder what she thinks is going on with the van?

  2. Oh, the joys of teenage girls! 😀 Though leaving your only vehicle in the woods does seem odd. Oh, and I think Ashley is “muttering,” not “uttering” in this case.

  3. I would find a minivan parked out in the middle of nowhere suspicious as well. Great snippet! (I can’t believe the result of the Brexit referendum either.)

    • Thanks! I discovered that my aunt in England actually voted to leave the E.U. :-O I guess Spain just lost 65% of its ESL teaching staff!

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject

    I’m very curious about that minivan. But, her parents seem to know the truth, and aren’t good at covering. Have fun next weekend!

    • The mystery behind the minivan is revealed later on in the story. You also find out if the parents actually know the truth or not.

  5. I like the snippet. Not only have you done a good job showing family tension, but you’ve done it in a very organic and relateable manner.

  6. Looks like their relationship has a long way to go. Great writing! 😀

  7. There is definitely something odd going on. Wicked hook, Frank. Especially since we are not going to learn more next week! Be safe, have fun#

  8. Too bad nobody listens to Melissa here! Great snippet, realistic dialogue for sure.

  9. My heart goes out to Ashley. It’s stressful being around family arguments. I hope she’s able to find some peace!

  10. Poor Melissa, at that age a lot of family disagreements seem to get blown out of proportion. Will anyone think “we should’ve listened to Melissa!” or do they know the truth but don’t want to admit? Great tension here, Frank.

    Marcia

  11. Sometimes getting to say ‘I told you so’ is not a lot of comfort.

  12. Family tensions abound. I’m wondering what the story is with this van and how that’s going to come into play.

  13. Fun! Personally, I loved being a teenaged girl. I’m not sure my dad enjoyed it quite as much as I did–at the time. LOL! I think you are doing great with the parent/daughter dynamics here. Have fun on your holiday off!

  14. Hmm, I wonder what the story is with the van?

  15. I think the scene works really well. It feels real and completely believable. You must have a sister, Frank, and studied the dynamics when she was a teenager. 🙂

    • I have a sister, but she’s much older. I owe this to watching teen drama series as research. I’m glad you agree with the authenticity of the scene.

  16. Ah teenagers, can’t keep their opinions to themselves :p Regarding the last paragraph, “She had witnessed more of our heated arguments than she would’ve liked to remember.” If Melissa is the POV, then this last bit doesn’t quite fit if it’s referring to Ashley.

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