Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Dad Attacks!

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the 8-10 sentence blog hop where you sample excerpts of great stories. I’m enjoying my vacation back home in southern Ontario, though it has been a hot week here!

My excerpt today comes from Never Let Go. The last snippet left off where Melissa and her father got into an argument. In this scene, things heat up for the worst. We are in Melissa’a POV and her dad speaks first:

“We’re staying here, Melissa, rebel all you wish, but it will not change a thing…remember that.”

“And I’m going to UCLA, Dad…remember that!”

He sipped his tea as his eyes met me with total coolness. “Well I’m sure your foolish post-secondary pursuit will add to the collection of mistakes you have accumulated this year.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mom challenged him.

“Puh-leeze Vanessa, the car accident, Chris, the party in which I had to come to her rescue…all because our immature firstborn would not heed the sage advice of her father.”

Hundreds of words formed on my tongue, each one eager to leap out of my mouth and sting Dad.

My mother and sister glowered at Dad as he locked eyes with me and slurped his tea.“You know now that I think of it, I begin to wonder if your immaturity is the real reason your so-called boyfriend resorted to infidelity.”

 

Well Dad’s gone too far, and Melissa won’t stand for it. Find out in the next snippet what she does. Comments are most welcome and appreciated. Have a great weekend!

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15 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Dad Attacks!

  1. Ouch! That is going to hurt! And maybe result in a few visits to a psycho-therapist in the future.

  2. I’m a sucker for a cleverly phrased line, so I loved this one: “Hundreds of words formed on my tongue, each one eager to leap out of my mouth and sting Dad.”

  3. Well he’s unpleasant. The way he talks didn’t strike me as real – sorry.I just can’t ‘hear’ a Dad talking to his daughter that way about her boyfriend etc. I guess I’d always thought of this as a nice tight knit family via previous really effective snippets you’ve given us!

    • It does seem unreal the way he talks to her, but he’s just disappointed as he feel that she didn’t listen to him about the boyfriend. He often speaks before checking with his brain.

  4. Whoa! He certainly didn’t hold back, did he? What a jerk. Great snippet though! Packs a lot of emotional punch.

  5. Oh Dad! That was a low blow. I have a feeling he’ll regret this comment shortly.

  6. Ouch! Burn! The father’s words are quite harsh. Is he putting her down so hard for a reason? I love this line… “Well I’m sure your foolish post-secondary pursuit will add to the collection of mistakes you have accumulated this year.”

  7. I’m not sure that UCLA is far enough away from her dad. That last line–wow. I’d be crushed, in her situation. Good snippet, Frank.

    Enjoy your time at home. 🙂

  8. Oh, ouch. Sometimes family can be really rough. But “puh-leeze” doesn’t sound like something an adult would say. I picture a teen girl, really.

    • It does seem odd that he would say it the way a teen would. Maybe I should change the way he says it.

  9. He really isn’t a likeable character right now from a female POV. Hard to tell which one is the parent and which the adolescent. He needs some serious family therapy. Is that the point? The dysfunction?

  10. Wow! What a jerk! Although I have to say, I agree with previous commenters, the dad sounds more like a snarky teenage friend than a dad. Trouble is brewing in any case!

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