Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – What Was That?

The weekly writing blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link for participation guidelines, and to see who else is participating today.

I’m sharing an excerpt from Never Let Go, which picks up from the last snippet from two weeks ago. Teen sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a strange room where Emily and her daughters are watching them through a skylight. The last snippet finished with Emily threatening to hurt Melissa, which sends her into a state of fright. This snippet opens with her younger sister, Ashley, speaking:


            “Don’t listen to her, Mel, she’s bluffin’, she’s just tryin’ to scare us!”
            I turned to her as I rubbed the goosebumps dancing on my arms. “I-I d-d-don’t think she is.”     

             “Bluffing am I? Oh little Ashley McNamara, you are very much like your father,” Emily said, casting a freaky smile on my baby sister.

            “Go to hell lady, just shut up and let us outta here, or I’ll co-”

             “Hush up impetuous teenager and dance!” Emily leaned over the edge of the skylight, disappearing from sight, and loud ‘click-click’ sounded from above, making my heart jump.

              Emily reappeared, as she and her daughters smiled at us like the witch from The Wizard of Oz.

               I dipped my chin to the floor under feet, my eyes instantly bulged as it began to glow red.


Uh oh! The floor is glowing red! Many of you likely know what’s coming next, but don’t spoil it for those that are new to this story. I’ve edited this scene, and I’m looking for helpful critiquing. More to follow next week.

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22 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – What Was That?

  1. One pair of fried sisters coming right up. You’ve got me wondering why Emma is doing this to them.

  2. Diane Burton

    Not a nice lady! Good snippet. You’ve got my interest.

  3. I think Emily’s going to pay for her remarks in a very, very bad way… :S

  4. Eyes bulging and glowing red is never a good sign. Tweeted.

  5. Cruella deVille embodied here. Good snippet!

  6. The reference to the Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz is so appropriate! I can see this snippet playing out in my mind. And yes, I remember this story, but won’t give it away. 🙂

  7. Emma makes a great villain! Not looking forward to what comes next. 😦

  8. I don’t think just a hot foot is all this evil wench has in store for them. Not a nice lady at all! They should hot-foot it out of there!

    • You’re right about Emily having more in store, but I can’t tell you what exactly. They should hot foot out of there, but unfortunately they’re surrounded by steel walls.

  9. Teenagers don’t have a great filter. But I think the same thing would’ve happened no matter what she said.

  10. I remember this story so can only say it’s another excellent excerpt!

  11. I’m new to the story and can’t wait to find out what the red floor means!

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