#SatSpanks #8Sunday – Holy Hot Foot!

 

The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. I’m also making my debut with Saturday Spankings, and participating with Snippet Sunday. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors. Well someone give me a medal because for the first time in months I’m participating for a second consecutive week (LOL). I’m glad you’ve visited my blog today.

More from Never Let Go. Teenage sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a walled room, where they are being taunted by a woman (Emily) and her two twenty-something daughters. Last week Ashley ran her mouth on Emily, which unfortunately only enraged her further. Things ended with Emily flipping on a power switch, causing the floor which Melissa and Ashley are standing on to glow red. In this snippet, we find out what’s happening to the floor.

This is Melissa’s POV and the snippet has been formatted with creative punctuation to fit the 8-10 sentence limit:

“Hey, Mel, the…the floor,” Ashley cried as the glow reached every inch of the floor in the room.

I stared at it with my jaw dropped as the glow continued to get brighter. “Wh-what the hell’s goi-”

Heat began to seep through the bottoms of my feet.

“Whoa, the floor’s, like, gettin’ really warm,” Ashley bleated, the heat mounting, nibbling and then biting my skin.

“Ow, ouch, it’s getting hot,” she cried and lifted her feet.

The floor glowed with intense redness like a ceramic cooktop on high. Sharp cries shot out of my lungs as I jerked my feet back with heat gnawing my flesh from heel to toe.

“Aaaaahh,” we cried in unison as we leaped off the floor, endlessly lifting up one foot after the other in a dumb attempt to avoid burns. We yelped repeatedly with the intense heat stabbing the bottoms of my feet, like hundreds of hot needles.

hot

Oh no, Melissa and Ashley are getting a major hot foot! That Emily sure is twisted! How will our teens get out of this? Their poor feet can’t hold out for too long. The image above shows what the floor might look like.

1000 apologies if this scene is getting old, but I have revised it, and would very much love your feedback: it goes a very long way!

Comments are most welcome, and I will return the favor by commenting on your snippets! Enjoy your day, and Happy Thanksgiving to all the Canadian participants (me included)!

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58 thoughts on “#SatSpanks #8Sunday – Holy Hot Foot!

  1. Hi Frank. I love your snippet. I know I wouldn’t like to be trapped in the wall with a floor that was rapidly heating! I hope we get to see how they escape next week or at least get the heat turned down 🙂

  2. I thought I left a comment but it seems to have disappeared so I’ll try and remember what I said lol. Hi Frank, I love your snippet. I wouldn’t like to be trapped in the wall with a rapidly heating floor. I hope we get to read more next week abut their escape 🙂

    • Hi and thanks for commenting! No being trapped in a room with a hot floor isn’t fun, especially when you’re barefoot.

  3. Wow! That sounds like seriously disordered mentality! Can’t wait for more😝

    • Disordered mentality? You mean from Emily? If so, it sure is!

      • Yes. I meant from Emily. Psycho bad guys/gals are fun to experiment with. They invent surprising ways to torment their victims.

      • Pyschos definitely do that. I think this is a surprising way to torment Melissa and Ashley, and she doesn’t sympathize with the agonizing pain they’re enduring.

  4. This sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of – well imagined imagery! Good snippet.

  5. Now that is what I call torture. Unless the girls can fly or climb walls, I’d say they’re in serious trouble.

  6. Yikes. Hard to see how this could possibly turn out well.

    • It’s good as a writer to put your characters in tough situations. Tune in to see if they can get some respite for their poor feet.

  7. nancygideon

    Yikes! Nice descriptive scene, Frank. Made me squirm! How are they going to get out of this one?

    • Yikes is the right word. It almost made me hop around. At this point, those girls are going to need divine intervention to get out of this. You’ll find out over the next couple of weeks.

  8. A vivid scene. There was so much about this story that was intriguing! (I remember it from when you were sharing it before…)

    • Thanks, I think it’s come along way since I first started sharing it – that I mean in terms of editing.

  9. Author Jessica E. Subject

    Happy Thanksgiving, Frank! Like others, I wouldn’t want to be in their situation. My feet are often cold from fall until spring, but this form of torture is a little extreme for me. Great snippet! 🙂

    • LOL, it would be extreme for everybody, but I’m glad I “warmed” your feet a little today. Those poor girls!

  10. Looks like things are hotting up, Frank 😉 Can’t wait to see where you’re headed next week…

  11. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Ouch! I do hope they will be able to find a way out of there. Great imagery, by the way. It made me cringe.

  12. Good job, Frank. I recall this from a while back. You’ve improved your writing skills so much!

  13. Nancy Goldberg Levine

    Oh, no–those poor girls–very vivid scene!

  14. Nice snippet–those poor girls–very vivid snippet.

  15. Ouch! Perhaps she will be more careful what she says to make her captors angry in future. They’re not in a position of power right now, are they?

    • Emily was going to make the floor hot anyway; Ashley sped it up in this case. And no those girls are in no place of power – now that the floor is burning their feet!

  16. Ouch! Poor girls, I wonder how they’ll get out of there.

  17. Andrea R Huelsenbeck

    So, the heat is biting and stabbing them, not cooking, searing, or broiling them?

  18. ARgh, this scene! I think your writing has become a lot more vivid since the last time you posted it.

  19. Daryl Devore

    Gee – I thought the shark on my post was bad – you got that way beat.
    Tweeted.

  20. elainecsc2013

    That’s a terrible predicament.

  21. Holy crap! That’s awful! Not even I would do something that evil to my characters… Okay, that’s a lie, but you get the point! Wow, I hope Emily gets hers someday. Great snippet!

    • Emily is evil! She definitely gets hers! We as writers do have to put our characters in tough situations, though.

  22. Some people go barefoot everywhere–and I don’t know how they do it. This snippet has me cringing.

    • I don’t know how they do it either. Maybe they should read this snippet LOL! Melissa and Ashley sure regret taking their shoes off.

  23. This has made me cringe before. Can’t imagine being in this position. You made it very visceral. Great job!

  24. Wow, nice snippet Frank, well done!

  25. Diane Burton

    Well, this is not nice to do to your heroines. Sure hope you’re going to get them out of that place.Soon!

  26. Welcome back to Sunday Snippets. I remember you posting from this what seems like ages ago!

  27. chellecordero

    Wow… ouch… painful. I can’t wait to see how they get out of this one.
    btw, you are much more vivid in your writing now, great job!

  28. Those last few sentences are quite comical to picture in my head. I don’t think they’ll piss off Emily again after this, unless they’re hotheaded enough too.

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