#8Sunday – Gotta Cool This Floor Down!



The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors.

More from Never Let Go. Melissa and Ashley are in a real pickle – trapped in a walled room under the watch of Emily. She’s made the floor become red-hot, and the poor teens must dance what seems like an everlasting hot foot! 

I’ve skipped a few lines in this scene to where Emily and her daughters are delighting in watching Melissa and Ashley suffer. Can they find a way to save themselves?

This is Melissa’s POV and the snippet has been formatted with creative punctuation to fit the 8-10 sentence limit:

I let out a scream rattled my ribs as I shook my right foot in the air. When my other foot couldn’t take anymore of the floor’s hot bee stinging, I shook it, but the air barely relieved the burns.

My throat burned from constant shrieking and my calves began to ache from endless hopping.

Leaping in the air with both feet, Ashley filled the air with howls with the heat wreaking havoc on her poor skin. Listening to her suffer agonizing pain ripped my heart in half, and I knew her feet couldn’t take much more punishment.

“Ge-get me off this floor,” she wailed.

I couldn’t take hearing her suffer any longer, and we needed something to protect our feet from further damage – pronto!

The red glow vanished in the floor just as I was about to strip my pants so we could stand on them, and the next thing I knew water began to spray onto the floor from a nozzle sticking out of the wall by our knees. Hissing filled the air and steam rose from the floor as the liquid hit it. As the floor cooled, we let out sharp breaths of relief as the steam left moisture on my arms and neck.


Well it seems as if Emily has a heart if she’s cooling the floor down, but there must be catch. And certainly those girls’ feet haven’t gotten off unscathed. More from this next week. Your feedback is much appreciated!

I will do my best to comment on everyone’s snippets, but I’m attending an intensive tai chi workshop today, and I won’t be home til later this evening. I recently took up tai chi after moving back home. I’ve actually been attending workshops all weekend (the other is related to work), hence my lack of presence on Saturday Spankings and Snippet Sunday.

I’ll likely be absent from snippet-sharing until November as life is getting in the way – again! Until then, happy reading and writing. Best wishes to everyone who’s participating in NaNoWriMo!


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22 thoughts on “#8Sunday – Gotta Cool This Floor Down!

  1. Since they’ve done nothing to turn the tide of their misfortunes, I suspect that a new torture is on its way.

  2. Author Jessica E. Subject

    Yes, I definitely got the feeling that’s not the end. But, I’m curious as to why this round stopped. What will their torturers ask for?

  3. Hmm. Respite? I think not!

    Enjoy the Tai Chi, Frank. Catch up with you in November!

  4. I’m glad their suffering is over, at least for the moment, but I worry about what’s ahead!

  5. Oh Frank, the hot foot must stop and they will get revenge, I’m sure.

  6. Well that’s an interesting twist but I’m sure Emily has more bad things in mind.

  7. julieevelynjoyce

    I’m gonna guess that the water level will rise to frightening heights before they get out of there. Nicely written! Good luck with all your endeavors until you’re able to return to the WWW group! 🙂

    • Actually the water is meant to cool the floor down. Emily turns it off, but she has more planned for the girls

  8. Diane Burton

    Well darn. I guessed the same as Julie–water rising until they nearly drown. Now I’m really curious.

  9. Well, the floor’s wet, so they could be electrocuted!

  10. Wouldn’t that steam be really hot and burn them? I’m with everyone else–I find this ‘break’ really suspicious, and wonder what’s coming next.

  11. Oh yeah there will definitely be a catch–– maybe the floor will become icy cold and they’ll have to endure eternal pins and needles! *cringes* Great snippet by the way!

    • Thanks Amy! Sorry I didn’t comment on your snippet. Been a busy weekend. I like your theory about the floor becoming cold…though not as bad as it being hot.

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