Weekend Writing Warriors – Ashley’s New Boyfriend

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Happy Easter! The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors.

Guess who’s back? I’m so glad to be participating after my longest absence ever! I’m offering an excerpt from my new WIP, Do for Love (formerly Cruel Summer), which is a coming-of-age YA contemporary that takes place in Cincinnati.

In this snippet, Melissa and Ashley are eating breakfast when their dad asks to meet Ashley’s new boyfriend, Logan.

This is Melissa’s POV and creative punctuation has been used to meet the sentence limit:

Ashley looks at Dad with surprise as he goes on about how Logan’s parents are likely curious to meet her. The funny thing is, she hasn’t mentioned one word about them yet.

The pink in her cheeks vanishes instantly, replaced by milky paleness. She tucks her legs under her, sitting cross-legged in the chair and blinking rapidly at Dad, while twirling her hair with one finger. A piece of black fabric from her slippers falls off the bottom of her right foot and tumbles to the floor, as she rubs her toes.

I’m not sure why she’s nervous about Dad wanting to meet Logan, especially since she’s been dating him for almost two weeks. Dad insisted on meeting Chris after only a week. If he knew about the pics of her and Logan making out on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, he’d surely have wanted to meet him sooner.

“This is your first boyfriend, honeycake,” Dad says soothingly, “I simply want to meet the special boy in my little princess’s life.”

Since when is she his little princess? I’m the eldest, why can’t I be his princess?

 

Blurb: When her younger sister starts dating a young man with a dark side, life turns upside down for Melissa. She’ll need the help from the last person she would go to – her ex-boyfriend.

Well I think Melissa is entitled to being the little princess. FYI, Chris is Melissa’s ex, who will play an important role in the story. Thoughts and feedback are much appreciated!

I’m so sorry I’ve been away for all this time! The new life, which I embarked on last September, has not been as kind to me as I was hoping, and as a result kept me from participating and writing in general. However, I will soon embark on a new chapter, one of which I have been dreaming about for many years. Details of that will come at a time of my choosing. I hope you are all well! Life has not been the same without the magic of W.W.W.

Thanks for visiting me today, and I look forward to reading your lovely snippets!

Frank

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14 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors – Ashley’s New Boyfriend

  1. Welcome back, Frank. Every scene needs tension, and you’ve got two flavors of it here: daughter / father and, perhaps more strongly sibling rivalry.

    • You’ve got the idea! And yes, every scene needs some form of tension. I’m happy the two themes create tension. Thanks!

  2. Frank!!! Welcome back!!!! It’s good to “see” you.

    I’m sorry life has not been as kind to you as you as you deserve. 🙂

    Your writing has become very fluid. Nicely done! Dad seems different in this snippet–not as tough as he was in other snippets. Maybe something happens that changes him? 🙂

    • Well, Dad is tough throughout the story, but he’s soft with Ashley because she does what he wants him to do, unlike Melissa.

      As for life in Ottawa, it’s a great city but there have been many people who let me down. It’s been a learning curve but a life-changing opportunity has come my way which I will share with you all soon. Good to be back!

  3. Welcome back, Mike! Looks like Melissa is feeling jealous of her sister. I gotta admit, I was a bit confused by Ashley’s reaction. I think what threw me off was her twirling her hair. I see it more as an absent minded gesture than a nervous one.

    • Twirling her hair is a habit of hers. I could take it out of her feeling nervous though. Thanks!

  4. Author Jessica E. Subject

    Meeting a girlfriend’s father is never a joyful experience. In a way, I feel for Logan, but not if he’s posting those pics on social media. Great snippet!

    • It’s not the pics he posts on social media that’s the trouble; it’s what he does later in the story.

  5. Sounds like Dad’s being protective!

  6. Welcome back! I’d say you’ve blended the characters and their emotions very nicely here in the excerpt, given us a look at the family dynamic and much to ponder. Great snippet!

  7. Ooh intriguing, I like the way the two girls are portrayed – and Melissa’s feelings of jealousy come across as quite natural!

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