Weekend Writing Warriors – “Love You, Mom.”

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Welcome to the weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors Click on the link for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors. Thanks for including me in your Sunday reading! In just a couple of weeks, I leave to start my new life teaching English in Poland!
I’m sharing a snippet from an untitled Young Adult WIP, which is formerly Due For Love. Same characters, just a different plot thanks to the advice of an author friend. This snippet takes place at the very beginning of the story, with the heroine, Melissa, waking up talking about the most precious thing to her. Please note that this is a first draft and the snippet is formatted to meet the ten sentence rule.

     I open my eyes, turn over in my bed and stare at a five-by-seven picture on my nightstand of my mother holding me in her arms when I was a year old. My dad used to take us to this park every Sunday, back in the good old days when we were living in my nation’s capital before life brought us to Cincinnati. During the warmer months, he and my mom would bring a blanket and a picnic basket and set up shop on the grass with the backdrop of the Potomac and the Washington skyline. One day, he decided to take a photo of her and I while we were sitting on a blanket.
     Dad says it’s the best photo of us and she’s never smiled so much in any other picture of her.
      It’s the only picture I have of her, and it’s the first thing I see every morning when I wake up no matter where in the world I am, and I never get out of bed without looking it. Her bright youthful smile and the way she caressed me, gives me the strength to face whatever crap life wants to throw at me that day.
     I trail a finger along the glass that protects the picture from dust. “Love you, Mom,” I whisper just I do every morning for the past thirteen years since her life was taken away from me by that drunk driver. I’ll continue the tradition every morning in my new dorm at UCLA when I move there in a few months.

Not a lot of action, but we learn quite a bit about Melissa in ten sentences. For the full blurb about the novel, click here.

Thoughts and feedback are most welcome as they will help with the revision stages. I will share more next week.

Sorry I’ve been away most of the summer. Busy getting ready for the big move, but it’s been a grand summer. I plan to keep participating once I’m across the Atlantic, so don’t fret! Enjoy your Sunday!

Question for my author friends: can anyone recommend some good online writing groups? Ones that help with perfecting writing craft/promotion, cover designs, etc. Feel free to include your recommendations in your comments? And thanks!

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18 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors – “Love You, Mom.”

  1. Author Jessica E. Subject

    I’m curious about where she has lived around the world, and also whether her routine will change when she moves to the dorms.

    • Melissa has only lived in D.C. and Cincinnati. Her routine will change, of course, but this is just her re-departure thinking. Glad you liked it!

  2. A guaranteed tear-jerker opening that develops quite a bit of sympathy for Melissa.

  3. Frank, it’s good to “see” you!I wish you all the best in your endeavor in Poland! How exciting! And good for you–moving on from a course that was a big let down. Hugs–you got through it!

    Your story has a good, solid start.

    Have you ever visited the Scribophile site?I like the way it’s organized. I’ve not spent a lot of time there, just too busy. It’s designed to make sure people don’t submit a piece for critting and then never help other writers.. You earn points by critting the work of others, and then spend your points to post your own work.

    Best wishes with the actual move!

    • Thanks Teresa! Great to “see” you too! I’ll stay part of the W.W.W. family when I’m across the pond. And yes, I’m very much looking forward to Poland. Ottawa was a big let down, but my heart was never truly into the course. And thanks for the site suggestion. I’ll look them up.

  4. Beautifully written and so poignant. Success ahead for you, my friend.

  5. Lovely snippet, bittersweet but well done! Best wishes on your upcoming big move to Poland!

    • Thanks Veronica! Usually my snippets are peppered with dialogue, I thought this would give the readers insight on Melissa.

  6. I love how you show that even after several years have passed your character still greets each morning by saying ‘Love you, Mom.’ Very true for most of us who have lost family members. They stay in your heart forever.

    • Melissa’s mom is very special to her, and she plays a part in the story even though she’s passed on. Thanks!

  7. Aw, this really shows a different side to Melissa and makes her very sympathetic. All the best for your upcoming move- sounds very exciting!

    • Thanks Christina! And yes, it is very exciting! I was in Poland a few months ago, and I’m looking forward to discovering her and becoming immersed in the culture.

  8. I agree with the others, very poignant snippet and Melissa obviously loved her mom very much. it’s hard to lose a parent
    when you’re so young.

    • Right on, Hywela! She did love her mother and even though she is gone, she’s left an impact on her life in the story.

  9. Great emotional snippet!

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