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Weekend Writing Warriors – A horrific sight in the chamber

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Welcome to another day of Weekend Writing Warriors .  The rules are simple: post 8 sentences from any work onto your blog before Sunday morning, and comment on other participants eight, so YOU will eventually receive comments.

I’m also participating in Snippet Sunday. I’m sharing more snippets from my short story, Barbecued. We continue from last week’s 8, where Melissa tries to think of a way out when she and her sister are greeted with a surprise. Many thanks to those who commented on my last snippet, and hope to see your comments this week.

Here’s the eight:

 Letting out a shriek from the burning sensation, I frantically rocked my eyes at the walls that confined us, hoping to find some way out of here. The constant hopping drained me, as I felt the bottoms of my feet melt. I heard a loud hissing sound coming from the ground, as Ashley slapped my arm and cried, “Melissa, look!!”

  I quickly turned to see her bulging eyes and pallid face, while pointing to an egg sizzling on the floor by her feet. We gaped in horror at the egg searing on the scorching grid, and I felt tremors in my hands at the sight of white smoke rising off the charred edges. Raising my head, I saw Emily rubbing her palms as she licked her lips. I gazed at the dazzling floor directly under me, and I knew our feet couldn’t take another minute of this blazing heat as I leapt faster. Glancing at the wall behind me, I gasped as I spotted something that could save us.  

 

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Blurb: Melissa and Ashley are watching TV while relaxing on a couch at a country house, rented by their parents. Suddenly it spins them around, dumping them into an empty chamber with steel walls. They are greeted by a sadistic woman and her two daughters, watching them through a skylight in the ceiling (I’ve edited the ages of the daughters; they’re in their early twenties). The woman proceeds to give Mel and Ashley a hot foot by flipping a power switch which super heats the floor in the room (the floor is metallic and has heating elements). Since the girls were inside the house, they are in their bare feet. The girls leap and jump as the heat mounts, as the woman watches them dance.

* I took the photo of the frying egg one morning. It’s not exactly like the one in the snippet, but you get the idea. Thought it would be a nice touch.

Next week we’ll see what Melissa has spotted and if it can actually save them. I won’t have as much time to comment on other snippets today, but I really appreciate your helpful comments. I’ll do my best to visit everyone’s eight. Click on the link above for the official list of participating authors. Have a wonderful weekend!

#8Sunday

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