Posts Tagged With: fear

Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – What Was That?

The weekly writing blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link for participation guidelines, and to see who else is participating today.

I’m sharing an excerpt from Never Let Go, which picks up from the last snippet from two weeks ago. Teen sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a strange room where Emily and her daughters are watching them through a skylight. The last snippet finished with Emily threatening to hurt Melissa, which sends her into a state of fright. This snippet opens with her younger sister, Ashley, speaking:

 

            “Don’t listen to her, Mel, she’s bluffin’, she’s just tryin’ to scare us!”
            I turned to her as I rubbed the goosebumps dancing on my arms. “I-I d-d-don’t think she is.”     

             “Bluffing am I? Oh little Ashley McNamara, you are very much like your father,” Emily said, casting a freaky smile on my baby sister.

            “Go to hell lady, just shut up and let us outta here, or I’ll co-”

             “Hush up impetuous teenager and dance!” Emily leaned over the edge of the skylight, disappearing from sight, and loud ‘click-click’ sounded from above, making my heart jump.

              Emily reappeared, as she and her daughters smiled at us like the witch from The Wizard of Oz.

               I dipped my chin to the floor under feet, my eyes instantly bulged as it began to glow red.

 

Uh oh! The floor is glowing red! Many of you likely know what’s coming next, but don’t spoil it for those that are new to this story. I’ve edited this scene, and I’m looking for helpful critiquing. More to follow next week.

Thanks for visiting, and be sure to check out other participating writers.

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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Melissa and the Spider

8 to 10 sentences on your blog every Sunday, and that’s all it takes to be a part of Weekend Writing Warriors.Things are going fine with me at work, school, and my new job with the newspaper. Another snippet from The Burning Night today. Thank you all for your comments on last week’s snippet. They really help with the editing process.

Melissa is dealing with a huge spider that refuses to get off her foot, and needs to do something fast before it likely bites her. This is in her POV, and has been modified to meet the 10 sentence rule.

Panting in terror, I watched the eight-legged creature, wondering if it was going to bite me. My body froze from the neck down, except for my heart constantly running marathons. I couldn’t move my foot in the slightest way for fear it would piss off the spider. My mind wandered down the dreadful path of a spider bite. I couldn’t take the chance. It could’ve been one of those deadly spiders you see on National Geographic. A spider this size had to have huge fangs, and the canvas fabric wasn’t enough to protect my poor foot from them. I likely only had seconds before it sank its fangs into my skin.

I closed my eyes and whispered, “C’mon Melissa, you can do it, you can’t die now, you gotta live to see California.”

Letting out a shriek, I kicked the spider off my foot and watched it fly in the air before landing by a tree nearby.

Phew! Close call. It seems like poor Melissa can’t catch a break here. I’d love to know what works and what doesn’t. I’m going to share a different scene from this story next week. I will be out all day today, so I won’t be able to read and comment on everyone’s snippets until tonight, or possibly Monday. My general rule of thumb is if you comment on my snippet, I’ll be sure to comment on yours. Thanks and have a great Sunday!

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Weekend Writing Warriors/#Sunday – Itsy, Bitsy Spider!

Welcome to another Sunday of Weekend Writing Warriors. Thanks for visiting my blog today. It’s great to be reunited with all of my writing friends! I’m continuing with another snippet from The Burning Night.

In this snippet, my MC, Melissa, is venting out her frustrations. She’s just finished arguing with her dad about staying at the country house, and is walking angrily on a trail when she comes across a creepy-crawly. This is in Melissa’s POV, and I’ve formatted the snippet so it meets the 8 to 10 sentence rule:

I strode along a grassy pathway without any care of where it led to. Twigs crunched underfoot as I cussed and kicked a few unlucky stones out of my way. I let out two mega sneezes as the pollen tortured my nostrils. I stopped to blow my nose with a napkin I picked up from the McDonald’s we stopped at near Rochester.

Dipping my chin, I sucked in a breath. A black spider the size of a ping-pong ball was parked by my right foot with two legs planted on my shoe.

I bleated like a lamb, my hands trembling as the napkin fell to the ground. “S-s-spider, I hate spiders!”

My eyes bulged as it crawled on my foot, its dagger-like legs poking through the canvas fabric of my shoe. “Ge-ge-get off my foot, you icky thing!”

Poor Melissa! It seems like a minuscule thing, but it not for Melissa; it’s one of her greatest fears. Tune in next week to see more of this scene. I also intend to show snippets between Melissa and her dad. Thanks in advance for your comments! I’ll be sure to stop by your blogs and comment on your own snippets. New to Weekend Writing Warriors? Click on the link above to see how you can join the fun!

In related writing news, I’ve recently joined my school’s newspaper where I am writing articles geared to the undergraduates. So far, so good, and I’m hoping it will boost my writing skills.

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