Posts Tagged With: heat

Weekend Writing Warriors – The Agony of De-feet!

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Exams are over, and now I can look forward to Christmas, especially as I am relaxing on the beaches of South Florida. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, for all your reading needs. I’m offering one final snippet from The Burning Night, my YA horror novella. As it is the last 8 from this story, I decided to condense a paragraph’s worth into an excerpt so you could get a full sense of what’s going on. If you missed last week’s snippet, it can be found here.

Set-up: Teenage sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a room. Thanks to a power switch, the entire floor has become scorching hot, making the girls to hop around as they try and preserve their feet. Emily and her daughters, Ally and Sandra delight in the girls suffering as they watch them “dance.” The image below shows how the floor would  look like.

hot

The eight:

“Whoa, look at ‘em dance, Mom,” Sandra chirped.

“And listen to them sing, it’s amazing how you can make a couple of teenagers dance and scream at the same time,” Emily cooed. 

Their heartless taunts hurt me almost as much this floor frying my skin like eggs. Lifting my head up, I forced a glare at the psychotic women through the agonizing pain, and cried, “You, ow, ow, si-sick bitches!”

“Shu-shut this floor off,” Ashley wailed.

“It won’t hurt much longer, my darlings.” Emily’s falsetto voice hardened ruthlessly as she boomed, “Because the nerve endings in your feet will be completely destroyed!”

I let out a scream that tore at my vocal cords and rattled my ribs, as I shook my right foot wildly in the air, while hopping on the other.

Oh their poor feet! Emily and her daughters are sick…sick, sick, sick! It’s hard to understand why Emily hates those girls so much. She just enjoys seeing people suffer. It’s the truth! As demented as she is, you have to admit that this is a clever way to torture someone. I hate having to end things here, but this isn’t published, and so I can only share so much.

The story ends on a positive note for the teens, and those women get what’s coming to them. I hope you have enjoyed reading these snippets, and will buy the book someday. Your feedback has made all the difference, and helped me understand my characters more. I thank everyone who commented on this last week, and do appreciate any thoughts today!

I’ll be taking some time off W.W.W. I expect to be back sometime in January, where I will share snippets from one of my other stories. I haven’t decided which one. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy New Year!!

See you in 2015!

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Desperate Measures

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Have an excerpt from a story you want to share? Look no further than Weekend Writing Warriors, where published/unpublished writers share 8 sentences from their works. I’m also participating in Snippet Sunday. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend wherever you may be, and I want to thank everyone for their helpful comments last week. I attended a lengthy job fair for teachers yesterday in Córdoba, so this is a good way for me to unwind. I’m offering another 8 from my YA horror, The Burning Night. This 8 picks up from last week’s 8, though I’m skipping a few lines.

Set-up: Melissa pleas for Emily to let her sister go, but she refuses and simply watches the two of them ‘dance’. Melissa can no longer stand the burning sensation on her feet, so she employs a little strategy.

Here is the eight, which has been modified from the original to fit the 8 sentence rule:

 

Glimpsing at the glowing red floor, I spewed out a wail as I felt the flesh on my feet corrode. There wasn’t enough strength left in me to keep moving my feet, and I needed to get them off this hot surface pronto. My pajama pants were the only thing I could think of to protect my feet. Without hesitation, I stripped them off, threw them on the floor under my feet, as a sigh of relief blustered out of my lungs. Ashley’s mouth dropped open as she watched me and I didn’t even care that my undies were showing. Tears welled up behind my eyelids as I piled the pants with my feet to make a thicker cushion. Even on the cool fabric of my pants, my feet stung like they were touching fire coral and I let out a groan full of torment.

  “Ashley, get on,” I urged, stretching out my pants to give her enough room as she quickly jumped on and let out an audible breath of relief from the excruciating pain.

 

 

Nice idea, but they obviously need to think of a plan since they can’t stand on the pants forever. Love to know your thoughts, bear in mind this is a second draft and I just added this scene to the story. I’m not sure if I’ll be participating next week, since I might be going down to Málaga for the day. I’m also busy this week with upcoming job interviews so I might not have enough time to put up a snippet. So if you don’t see my name on the list next week, you’ll know why. The following week I’ll be absent because I’ll be going to Zaragoza to visit a former student of mine for the weekend.

Click on the Weekend Writing Warriors link for the official list of participating authors. Enjoy your Sunday!

#8Sunday

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Spare My Sister, Please!

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Hello/Buenos días and welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! I hope you are having a wonderful Sunday wherever you may be. It’s 35 today in Seville, where I am (that’s 95 F I think). But meh, Seville is such a beautiful city, it’s worth standing the heat. Today, I’m sharing an eight from my YA horror, The Burning Night.

Set up: My heroines, Melissa and Ashley, are being tortured by Emily and her two daughters, Ally and Jessie. From a skylight, the three women are watching Mel and Ashley continuously leap barefoot on a red-hot floor, thus enduring an endless hot foot! Melissa can’t stand watching her younger sister suffer so she tries reason with Emily.

The eight:

 

My little sister let out an ear-splitting shriek as she leapt in the air with both feet. Listening to her constant cries of anguish drilled my eardrums as well as crumble my insides.         

“Oh my God,” I uttered as I watched her poor feet repeatedly touching the glowing grid. This was way too cruel for a sixteen-year-old girl and I knew her tootsies couldn’t take much more of this blazing heat.

“Pl-please Emily, don’t do th-this to her…to-torture me, j-just let my b-baby si-sister go!” I pleaded, the intense pain underfoot killing me. Ashley gave me a blank look, not getting why I was willing to sacrifice myself for her. With a scornful grin, Emily slowly shook their head as her daughters snickered.

“Damn it, sh-she’s just a kid, she di-didn’t do any-thing to you!”

 

Emily can’t possibly be any crueller than that! Poor Ashley. What will the girls do now? You’ll find out what happens next week. As always, I’d love to know what you think. For the official list of participating authors, click on Weekend Writing Warriors.

I’m going to a soccer match later today, but I will do the best to get around to everyone’s snippets. I’ve been doing great since I arrived in Spain and I’m enjoying the new lifestyle. There will be a week or two where I can’t participate on W.W.W. but I’ll give you plenty of notice of when that happens.

Have a great Sunday!

 

 

 

#8Sunday

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