Posts Tagged With: hot floor

Weekend Writing Warriors – The Agony of De-feet!

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Exams are over, and now I can look forward to Christmas, especially as I am relaxing on the beaches of South Florida. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, for all your reading needs. I’m offering one final snippet from The Burning Night, my YA horror novella. As it is the last 8 from this story, I decided to condense a paragraph’s worth into an excerpt so you could get a full sense of what’s going on. If you missed last week’s snippet, it can be found here.

Set-up: Teenage sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a room. Thanks to a power switch, the entire floor has become scorching hot, making the girls to hop around as they try and preserve their feet. Emily and her daughters, Ally and Sandra delight in the girls suffering as they watch them “dance.” The image below shows how the floor would  look like.

hot

The eight:

“Whoa, look at ‘em dance, Mom,” Sandra chirped.

“And listen to them sing, it’s amazing how you can make a couple of teenagers dance and scream at the same time,” Emily cooed. 

Their heartless taunts hurt me almost as much this floor frying my skin like eggs. Lifting my head up, I forced a glare at the psychotic women through the agonizing pain, and cried, “You, ow, ow, si-sick bitches!”

“Shu-shut this floor off,” Ashley wailed.

“It won’t hurt much longer, my darlings.” Emily’s falsetto voice hardened ruthlessly as she boomed, “Because the nerve endings in your feet will be completely destroyed!”

I let out a scream that tore at my vocal cords and rattled my ribs, as I shook my right foot wildly in the air, while hopping on the other.

Oh their poor feet! Emily and her daughters are sick…sick, sick, sick! It’s hard to understand why Emily hates those girls so much. She just enjoys seeing people suffer. It’s the truth! As demented as she is, you have to admit that this is a clever way to torture someone. I hate having to end things here, but this isn’t published, and so I can only share so much.

The story ends on a positive note for the teens, and those women get what’s coming to them. I hope you have enjoyed reading these snippets, and will buy the book someday. Your feedback has made all the difference, and helped me understand my characters more. I thank everyone who commented on this last week, and do appreciate any thoughts today!

I’ll be taking some time off W.W.W. I expect to be back sometime in January, where I will share snippets from one of my other stories. I haven’t decided which one. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy New Year!!

See you in 2015!

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Spare My Sister, Please!

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Hello/Buenos días and welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! I hope you are having a wonderful Sunday wherever you may be. It’s 35 today in Seville, where I am (that’s 95 F I think). But meh, Seville is such a beautiful city, it’s worth standing the heat. Today, I’m sharing an eight from my YA horror, The Burning Night.

Set up: My heroines, Melissa and Ashley, are being tortured by Emily and her two daughters, Ally and Jessie. From a skylight, the three women are watching Mel and Ashley continuously leap barefoot on a red-hot floor, thus enduring an endless hot foot! Melissa can’t stand watching her younger sister suffer so she tries reason with Emily.

The eight:

 

My little sister let out an ear-splitting shriek as she leapt in the air with both feet. Listening to her constant cries of anguish drilled my eardrums as well as crumble my insides.         

“Oh my God,” I uttered as I watched her poor feet repeatedly touching the glowing grid. This was way too cruel for a sixteen-year-old girl and I knew her tootsies couldn’t take much more of this blazing heat.

“Pl-please Emily, don’t do th-this to her…to-torture me, j-just let my b-baby si-sister go!” I pleaded, the intense pain underfoot killing me. Ashley gave me a blank look, not getting why I was willing to sacrifice myself for her. With a scornful grin, Emily slowly shook their head as her daughters snickered.

“Damn it, sh-she’s just a kid, she di-didn’t do any-thing to you!”

 

Emily can’t possibly be any crueller than that! Poor Ashley. What will the girls do now? You’ll find out what happens next week. As always, I’d love to know what you think. For the official list of participating authors, click on Weekend Writing Warriors.

I’m going to a soccer match later today, but I will do the best to get around to everyone’s snippets. I’ve been doing great since I arrived in Spain and I’m enjoying the new lifestyle. There will be a week or two where I can’t participate on W.W.W. but I’ll give you plenty of notice of when that happens.

Have a great Sunday!

 

 

 

#8Sunday

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Weekend Writing Warriors – A Painful Dance

 

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I hope you all are having a wonderful Easter weekend, wherever you are. It has been a week of wacky weather in my neck of the woods (snow, rain, cold, etc). Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the place where writers share eight sentences from their stories. I’m also participating on Facebook’s Snippet Sunday.

This week we pick up from last week’s snippet of my YA horror, The Burning Night. The previous snippet can be found here.

Set-up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a chamber by Emily and her two daughters, who watch them from a skylight above. One of Emily’s daughters has flipped a power switch, which makes the entire floor under Melissa and Ashley’s feet glow red-hot! With nothing to grab onto, the barefoot girls constantly lift up one foot after the other as they try to avoid harsh burns. Emily and her daughters delight in watching them suffer a killer hot foot.

This is in Melissa’s POV and with a little bit of creative punctuation.

The eight:

 

“Look at ‘em dance, girls,” Emily razzed, her scornful voice pricking me like darts.

“Ow! Ouch! Ow! Ow! Hot!” Ashley repeatedly cried, wincing as she desperately tried to keep her feet off the blazing floor. The pained expression on her face made my heart crack. With bulging eyes, she glanced at her poor feet as they endured painful burns with every touch of the floor. Turning to me with frantic eyes she cried, “It-it’s like l-lava on my f-feet, wh-what are we gonna do?!?”   

“I-I dunno!”

A chorus of cheeky squeals filled the air, dominating our cries as well as our feet thumping against the hot surface. The three women beamed at us from behind the skylight and I cried, “You…sick bi-bitches this re-really hu-hurts…wh-why are you torturing us?!?”

 

Good question! You can get a good sense of Ashley and Melissa’s anguish. How much more can their poor feet take? I would very much love to know your thoughts (yes I know this is scary). I look forward to reading your snippets today, too.

Visit the official site of Weekend Writing Warriors for the complete list of participating authors. If it’s your first time, I’d like to suggest you visit some of my favorite authors: Veronica Scott, Sarah Cass, Sarah Wesson, Millie Burns and Caitlin Stern.

I’m heading off to Spain next week for two months, so sadly I won’t be participating on W.W.W. for the next few weeks. I will return once I’m settled in Spain. Until then I’ll miss you all! Before I go, I’m thinking of changing the title of my story and I would like some feedback, if it’s not too much trouble. My possible suggestions are:

1. Girl On a Hot Tin Roof
2. Hot Time in the Old House
3. Heat

What do you think? If you can suggest a different title based on the snippets I would welcome that as well. Click on the Contact Me tab on my site if you want to give me a detailed suggestion. Thanks so much!

Happy Easter!

#8Sunday

 

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