Posts Tagged With: hot foot

#8Sunday – Gotta Cool This Floor Down!

hchabjea1

 

The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors.

More from Never Let Go. Melissa and Ashley are in a real pickle – trapped in a walled room under the watch of Emily. She’s made the floor become red-hot, and the poor teens must dance what seems like an everlasting hot foot! 

I’ve skipped a few lines in this scene to where Emily and her daughters are delighting in watching Melissa and Ashley suffer. Can they find a way to save themselves?

This is Melissa’s POV and the snippet has been formatted with creative punctuation to fit the 8-10 sentence limit:

I let out a scream rattled my ribs as I shook my right foot in the air. When my other foot couldn’t take anymore of the floor’s hot bee stinging, I shook it, but the air barely relieved the burns.

My throat burned from constant shrieking and my calves began to ache from endless hopping.

Leaping in the air with both feet, Ashley filled the air with howls with the heat wreaking havoc on her poor skin. Listening to her suffer agonizing pain ripped my heart in half, and I knew her feet couldn’t take much more punishment.

“Ge-get me off this floor,” she wailed.

I couldn’t take hearing her suffer any longer, and we needed something to protect our feet from further damage – pronto!

The red glow vanished in the floor just as I was about to strip my pants so we could stand on them, and the next thing I knew water began to spray onto the floor from a nozzle sticking out of the wall by our knees. Hissing filled the air and steam rose from the floor as the liquid hit it. As the floor cooled, we let out sharp breaths of relief as the steam left moisture on my arms and neck.

 

Well it seems as if Emily has a heart if she’s cooling the floor down, but there must be catch. And certainly those girls’ feet haven’t gotten off unscathed. More from this next week. Your feedback is much appreciated!

I will do my best to comment on everyone’s snippets, but I’m attending an intensive tai chi workshop today, and I won’t be home til later this evening. I recently took up tai chi after moving back home. I’ve actually been attending workshops all weekend (the other is related to work), hence my lack of presence on Saturday Spankings and Snippet Sunday.

I’ll likely be absent from snippet-sharing until November as life is getting in the way – again! Until then, happy reading and writing. Best wishes to everyone who’s participating in NaNoWriMo!

 

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Weekend Writing Warriors – The Agony of De-feet!

better-wewriwa

Exams are over, and now I can look forward to Christmas, especially as I am relaxing on the beaches of South Florida. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, for all your reading needs. I’m offering one final snippet from The Burning Night, my YA horror novella. As it is the last 8 from this story, I decided to condense a paragraph’s worth into an excerpt so you could get a full sense of what’s going on. If you missed last week’s snippet, it can be found here.

Set-up: Teenage sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a room. Thanks to a power switch, the entire floor has become scorching hot, making the girls to hop around as they try and preserve their feet. Emily and her daughters, Ally and Sandra delight in the girls suffering as they watch them “dance.” The image below shows how the floor would  look like.

hot

The eight:

“Whoa, look at ‘em dance, Mom,” Sandra chirped.

“And listen to them sing, it’s amazing how you can make a couple of teenagers dance and scream at the same time,” Emily cooed. 

Their heartless taunts hurt me almost as much this floor frying my skin like eggs. Lifting my head up, I forced a glare at the psychotic women through the agonizing pain, and cried, “You, ow, ow, si-sick bitches!”

“Shu-shut this floor off,” Ashley wailed.

“It won’t hurt much longer, my darlings.” Emily’s falsetto voice hardened ruthlessly as she boomed, “Because the nerve endings in your feet will be completely destroyed!”

I let out a scream that tore at my vocal cords and rattled my ribs, as I shook my right foot wildly in the air, while hopping on the other.

Oh their poor feet! Emily and her daughters are sick…sick, sick, sick! It’s hard to understand why Emily hates those girls so much. She just enjoys seeing people suffer. It’s the truth! As demented as she is, you have to admit that this is a clever way to torture someone. I hate having to end things here, but this isn’t published, and so I can only share so much.

The story ends on a positive note for the teens, and those women get what’s coming to them. I hope you have enjoyed reading these snippets, and will buy the book someday. Your feedback has made all the difference, and helped me understand my characters more. I thank everyone who commented on this last week, and do appreciate any thoughts today!

I’ll be taking some time off W.W.W. I expect to be back sometime in January, where I will share snippets from one of my other stories. I haven’t decided which one. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy New Year!!

See you in 2015!

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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Prepare Yourselves!

better-wewriwa

December already. Christmas is looming and I hope you’re all getting your shopping done. It’s been a wet weekend here in northern Kentucky. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. A great place to meet talented writers, while getting feedback on your stories. I’m offering an 8 from The Burning Night. 

Set-up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a room under the watchful eye of Emily and her two daughters, Sandra and Ally. Emily insults Melissa and Ashley’s father, when Ashley decides she’s heard enough (she’s very fond of her dad). She speaks first as she gives Emily an earful.

The eight (modified from the original to fit the 8-sentence rule):

 

“Go to hell you whore and leave our dad alone, let us outta here, or I’ll come up there and kick your-”

Emily slammed one hand on the skylight glass and roared, “I’ve had enough of your mouth, young lady, if I were your mother, I’d slap your face!”

She rubbed her palms and an evil grin stretched across her face like the witch from The Wizard of Oz. “Ashley and Melissa Murdock…your time has come!”

Ashley and I looked at each other and grimaced, while the hair on my arms lifted.

“Prepare yourselves for the hot foot to wipe out all hot feet,” Emily said with an icy voice.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and I didn’t even know what a ‘hot foot’ was.

“Sandy,” Emily said, turning to her right, “switch it on!”

 

That can’t be good for the poor teens. Next week you’ll see what Sandra switches on. As always, I value your feedback. I look forward to reading your snippets.

I’d like to send a shout-out to all the NaNoWriMo participants – Well done on your hard work!

 

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