Posts Tagged With: pain

Weekend Writing Warriors – The Agony of De-feet!

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Exams are over, and now I can look forward to Christmas, especially as I am relaxing on the beaches of South Florida. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, for all your reading needs. I’m offering one final snippet from The Burning Night, my YA horror novella. As it is the last 8 from this story, I decided to condense a paragraph’s worth into an excerpt so you could get a full sense of what’s going on. If you missed last week’s snippet, it can be found here.

Set-up: Teenage sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a room. Thanks to a power switch, the entire floor has become scorching hot, making the girls to hop around as they try and preserve their feet. Emily and her daughters, Ally and Sandra delight in the girls suffering as they watch them “dance.” The image below shows how the floor would  look like.

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The eight:

“Whoa, look at ‘em dance, Mom,” Sandra chirped.

“And listen to them sing, it’s amazing how you can make a couple of teenagers dance and scream at the same time,” Emily cooed. 

Their heartless taunts hurt me almost as much this floor frying my skin like eggs. Lifting my head up, I forced a glare at the psychotic women through the agonizing pain, and cried, “You, ow, ow, si-sick bitches!”

“Shu-shut this floor off,” Ashley wailed.

“It won’t hurt much longer, my darlings.” Emily’s falsetto voice hardened ruthlessly as she boomed, “Because the nerve endings in your feet will be completely destroyed!”

I let out a scream that tore at my vocal cords and rattled my ribs, as I shook my right foot wildly in the air, while hopping on the other.

Oh their poor feet! Emily and her daughters are sick…sick, sick, sick! It’s hard to understand why Emily hates those girls so much. She just enjoys seeing people suffer. It’s the truth! As demented as she is, you have to admit that this is a clever way to torture someone. I hate having to end things here, but this isn’t published, and so I can only share so much.

The story ends on a positive note for the teens, and those women get what’s coming to them. I hope you have enjoyed reading these snippets, and will buy the book someday. Your feedback has made all the difference, and helped me understand my characters more. I thank everyone who commented on this last week, and do appreciate any thoughts today!

I’ll be taking some time off W.W.W. I expect to be back sometime in January, where I will share snippets from one of my other stories. I haven’t decided which one. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy New Year!!

See you in 2015!

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Melissa Gets It in the Arm

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Greetings all and welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors.  I’m glad you’ve taken some time out of your day to read my snippet. I’m continuing from last week’s 8 of my YA horror novella, The Burning Night. I shared a bit of this scene many months ago, but I’ve completely edited it, so it’s more feasible

Set-up: Melissa is in shock as the cooktops on the stove are glowing by themselves. She tries to decipher the whole thing, when more scariness literally hits her.

The Eight:

 

I shuffled toward the stove and extended one hand over the burner as heat waves seeped through it. Two more burners started glowing, making me jump back. Covering my mouth with both hands, I stared hard at the burners when something sharp pierced through my right arm like a bullet.

“Oww!!”

I grabbed my arm and dropped to my knees. It was amazing the pitch of my scream didn’t shatter the window over the kitchen sink. With my arm throbbing, I gaped in horror at a dart stuck in it, infecting me with who-knew-what. I covered my mouth to keep from screaming, as I grimaced from the shooting pain.

 

Poor Melissa. The fact that she’s a teenager really has me feeling for her. Sadly, there’s more on the way for her.

Thoughts and feedback are always helpful. I’m going to a Bengals game this afternoon, so I won’t get to reading snippets until later this evening. Since this is my first NFL game, I’m excited yet curious as I don’t know what to expect.

Click on the above link for the list of participating authors. Spread the word on Twitter, using #8Sunday.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

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Weekend Writing Warriors – A Floor That Burns

Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! Thanks for stopping by. Hard to believe it’s April already. I’m sharing an eight from The Burning Night.

Set up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a room under the watchful eye of Emily and her twenty-something daughters. Emily tells the girls that they about to get the hot foot to end all hot feet, which leaves the girls trembling. Emily is the first to speak as she instructs one of her daughters to flip on a power switch.

Note: I’ve modified this excerpt so it meets the eight sentence criteria:

“Jessie, switch it on!”

The girl leaned over the edge of the skylight, disappearing from sight as a loud ‘click-click’ sounded from above that made my heart jump. Dipping my chin, my eyes bulged as the floor began to glow bright red with intense heat oozing through the bottoms of my feet.

Ashley looked down and jerked her feet, the glow and the heat mounting by the second. “Whoa, this floor’s getting hot!”

Jolting my feet, a sharp cry escaped me as every inch of the floor turned into a blanket of glowing stove burner red and the excruciating heat scorched our feet.

 “Aaaaahh!!” we cried and leapt off the floor, endlessly lifting up one foot after the other in a lame attempt to avoid burns. The blistering heat stabbed the bottoms of my feet like a hundred needles with every touch as I cried out in agony.

 

Now you know why Melissa was worried about that floor! FYI: both girls are barefoot, so you can understand how much that hurts! This is a previously shared snippet, but as you can see it’s been edited so I’d love your feedback. I look forward to reading your snippets, too. In case you’re wondering if Melissa has her shoes on, here’s a link to the previous snippet where she took them off. Snippet

Click on Weekend Writing Warriors for the complete list of participating authors.

As a bonus, I’m participating on Snippet Sunday

Enjoy your Sunday!

#8Sunday

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