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Weekend Writing Warriors – Desperate Measures

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Have an excerpt from a story you want to share? Look no further than Weekend Writing Warriors, where published/unpublished writers share 8 sentences from their works. I’m also participating in Snippet Sunday. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend wherever you may be, and I want to thank everyone for their helpful comments last week. I attended a lengthy job fair for teachers yesterday in Córdoba, so this is a good way for me to unwind. I’m offering another 8 from my YA horror, The Burning Night. This 8 picks up from last week’s 8, though I’m skipping a few lines.

Set-up: Melissa pleas for Emily to let her sister go, but she refuses and simply watches the two of them ‘dance’. Melissa can no longer stand the burning sensation on her feet, so she employs a little strategy.

Here is the eight, which has been modified from the original to fit the 8 sentence rule:

 

Glimpsing at the glowing red floor, I spewed out a wail as I felt the flesh on my feet corrode. There wasn’t enough strength left in me to keep moving my feet, and I needed to get them off this hot surface pronto. My pajama pants were the only thing I could think of to protect my feet. Without hesitation, I stripped them off, threw them on the floor under my feet, as a sigh of relief blustered out of my lungs. Ashley’s mouth dropped open as she watched me and I didn’t even care that my undies were showing. Tears welled up behind my eyelids as I piled the pants with my feet to make a thicker cushion. Even on the cool fabric of my pants, my feet stung like they were touching fire coral and I let out a groan full of torment.

  “Ashley, get on,” I urged, stretching out my pants to give her enough room as she quickly jumped on and let out an audible breath of relief from the excruciating pain.

 

 

Nice idea, but they obviously need to think of a plan since they can’t stand on the pants forever. Love to know your thoughts, bear in mind this is a second draft and I just added this scene to the story. I’m not sure if I’ll be participating next week, since I might be going down to Málaga for the day. I’m also busy this week with upcoming job interviews so I might not have enough time to put up a snippet. So if you don’t see my name on the list next week, you’ll know why. The following week I’ll be absent because I’ll be going to Zaragoza to visit a former student of mine for the weekend.

Click on the Weekend Writing Warriors link for the official list of participating authors. Enjoy your Sunday!

#8Sunday

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