Posts Tagged With: tension

Weekend Writing Warriors – “Thanks for Nothin’!”

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The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors. Thank you everyone for your helpful comments last week. I would like to especially thank, Veronica Scott, for her informative feedback – thanks Veronica!

Continuing today with my YA WIP, Cruel Summer, I’ve skipped a few lines in this week’s snippet. Melissa asked her dad if she could borrow his car to take her sister out for late night waffles. Dad wouldn’t oblige on the count of a speeding ticket she got, which happened before the story began. Melissa and her dad argue, but to no avail Melissa loses. Feeling this is unfair, she let’s her feelings be known:

“Good talkin’ to ya, Dad,” I said, throwing up my hands, “thanks for nothin’!”

I spun on my heels and left his study.

“Melissa Lauren Isabel McNamara, get back here at once,” Dad retorted coldly as I was passing our pool table, his voice stinging my back like needles.

I dragged my feet towards him, the crimson burning in his eyes made my heart shudder as he stood up from his leather office chair.

“I understand your feelings of resentment because you didn’t get your way,” he said sternly. “But I have worked very hard to provide for you and your sister, ever since the day your mother’s life was taken from us, so I suggest you not channel that misguided teenage immaturity in the form of a thoughtless insult.”

 I gulped, wishing I had just left the room without mouthing back at him, but I kept my posture straight so he wouldn’t know he was getting to me.

Dad leaned forward, the anger in his eyes hitting me harder. “Thanks to me, you are fortunate to have a roof over your head and food to eat. There are countless children in this world, your age and younger, that live in such great poverty and abuse…you may wish to keep that in mind, young lady!”

Well Melissa, he kicked your butt! She should have followed her own advice indeed! Thoughts? Feedback?

Thank you for visiting my blog today, and I hope you will visit other authors participating today. I will be back to share more snippets in May, as I will be embarking on my month long voyage to South America next week! I’m very excited as I’ve never been and always wanted to go! I’m especially looking forward to Machu Picchu, Argentina and Chile!

Have a great weekend!

 

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Don’t Bother Daddy!

The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors.

 

I’m glad to be back after a long absence from W.W.W. More on that after the snippet. I’m offering an excerpt from my new WIP, Cruel Summer, which is a coming-of-age YA contemporary that takes place in Cincinnati.

In this snippet, Melissa approaches her dad in his study and asks why he’s not attending to Ashley, her younger sister who’s heartbroken after her boyfriend cheated on her. Dad doesn’t take kindly to being disturbed while working. Note that this is a different Melissa and Ashley, and not the ones from my other story; I just thought it would be nice to have my heroines with the same names – I dunno!

This is Melissa’s POV and creative punctuation has been used to meet the sentence limit:

Dad lifted his head up from his laptop amid his fingers clicking away happily on the keyboard. His glasses slid down to the tip of his nose as he greeted me with a lowered brow. I simply folded my arms and tapped my foot, letting him know I didn’t care if I was disturbing whatever he was working on.

“Are you, like, aware Ashley’s upstairs in tears?” I asked him.

“Are you, like, aware that I have a deadline to meet? Are you also aware I warned her about that witless impudent?”

I blinked at the annoyance shooting from his eyes into mine.

“Now I know you’re not down here to check on me, so out with it, young lady.”

You couldn’t fool my dad, he always had that weird ability to read people.

“I wanna borrow the car,” I said,”I wanna take Ashley out to Ariane’s for some waffles.”

 

Ariane’s is a fictitious diner in the story. The tension between Melissa and her dad is a subplot of the story, and it stems from the fact that Melissa wants to live her own life.

Blurb: When her younger sister starts dating a young man with a dark side, life turns upside down for Melissa. She’ll need the help from the last person she would go to – her ex-boyfriend.

Thoughts and feedback is much appreciated, keeping in mind this is a W.I.P.

So where the heck have I been? Sorry, I’ve been working two jobs since October and trying to keep up with my Rotary duties. Sadly, writing has also been on the back-burner. No matter, I’m just happy I’ve finally made some time to be with you all again. I’ll share another snippet from this story next week.

Thanks for visiting me today!

Frank

hchabjea1

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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Meet Melissa’s Dad

Welcome to the wonderful world of Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link if you would like to participate, and/or view other posts by talented writers.

Sorry I didn’t participate last week. Things got really rough last week, and let’s just say I needed that Sunday to be out in nature and alone with my thoughts. I’m alright now, but your thoughts and prayers are most appreciated. It’s always great to know I have friends like you on my side.

Anyway, another snippet from The Burning Night, which is two chapters away from being finished.

This snippet features my MC, Melissa, and her father. After she sees the inside of the country house, she goes outside on the pretense of needing fresh air. Her dad is annoyed by her reactions to the house, and lets her know.

Footsteps thumped behind me, and I suddenly felt my hoodie being tugged. Turning around, I saw my father’s fiery eyes locked onto me as he folded arms across his chest.

            “Ever since I announced this trip, you’ve done nothing but complain. I’ve told you a hundred times we need a vacation – I need a vacation! It’s been a very rough year for me!”

            “Whatever, Dad,” I said sourly. Since when does a high school principal get stressed out? I’m glad I wasn’t at his school. “Why couldn’t we have gone to Florida or Hawaii?”

            “Your perception of reality concerns me, young lady.”

This fight is only just beginning, and my next few snippets will focus on this scene. I will be away next weekend as I’m attending a writing workshop in Columbus, Ohio. I will be back on W.W.W. the following week.

I’d love to know your thoughts on this snippet, and I will do my best to read yours today.

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