Posts Tagged With: torment

#8Sunday – Gotta Cool This Floor Down!

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The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors.

More from Never Let Go. Melissa and Ashley are in a real pickle – trapped in a walled room under the watch of Emily. She’s made the floor become red-hot, and the poor teens must dance what seems like an everlasting hot foot! 

I’ve skipped a few lines in this scene to where Emily and her daughters are delighting in watching Melissa and Ashley suffer. Can they find a way to save themselves?

This is Melissa’s POV and the snippet has been formatted with creative punctuation to fit the 8-10 sentence limit:

I let out a scream rattled my ribs as I shook my right foot in the air. When my other foot couldn’t take anymore of the floor’s hot bee stinging, I shook it, but the air barely relieved the burns.

My throat burned from constant shrieking and my calves began to ache from endless hopping.

Leaping in the air with both feet, Ashley filled the air with howls with the heat wreaking havoc on her poor skin. Listening to her suffer agonizing pain ripped my heart in half, and I knew her feet couldn’t take much more punishment.

“Ge-get me off this floor,” she wailed.

I couldn’t take hearing her suffer any longer, and we needed something to protect our feet from further damage – pronto!

The red glow vanished in the floor just as I was about to strip my pants so we could stand on them, and the next thing I knew water began to spray onto the floor from a nozzle sticking out of the wall by our knees. Hissing filled the air and steam rose from the floor as the liquid hit it. As the floor cooled, we let out sharp breaths of relief as the steam left moisture on my arms and neck.

 

Well it seems as if Emily has a heart if she’s cooling the floor down, but there must be catch. And certainly those girls’ feet haven’t gotten off unscathed. More from this next week. Your feedback is much appreciated!

I will do my best to comment on everyone’s snippets, but I’m attending an intensive tai chi workshop today, and I won’t be home til later this evening. I recently took up tai chi after moving back home. I’ve actually been attending workshops all weekend (the other is related to work), hence my lack of presence on Saturday Spankings and Snippet Sunday.

I’ll likely be absent from snippet-sharing until November as life is getting in the way – again! Until then, happy reading and writing. Best wishes to everyone who’s participating in NaNoWriMo!

 

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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – It Will Be Quite Painful

The 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Thanks for visiting my blog today! And ‘howdy!’ to all of my fellow writer friends! I’ve missed you all! Though, I guess I’ve been saying that a lot this year.

I’m offering an excerpt from my YA contemporary, Never Let Go. My MC’s Melissa and Ashley (a pair of teenage sisters) have found themselves trapped in a steel walled box room. They are greeted by woman and her two young adult daughters, who are watching them through a skylight. The woman, Emily, tells Melissa and Ashley that she intends to seek vengeance on the girls’ father whom wrong her awhile. Melissa wants to know why, of course.

The snippet, which has been formatted to meet the sentence requirement, opens with Emily speaking to Melissa. This is in Melissa’s POV.

“Because it’s better to attack a man’s heart, my dear, the ones he cares about the most…like his two daughters.”

I let out a gasp, and an uncomfortable feeling suddenly seared in my stomach.

“What a shame,” Emily said with a drowsy voice as she leaned forward to the point where her nose was almost touching the glass. “Such beautiful, healthy girls Kevin has…and now I have to do this to them.”

It became instantly clear that Emily wasn’t just imprisoning us. I swallowed the iron lump in my throat while tremors rumbled in my hands, racing throughout my bloodstream.

“Wh-what are you g-gonna do to us?”

“Oh but that would ruin the surprise, my sweet little Melissa. But don’t worry, it will be quite painful, I assure you.”

My eyes instantly grew wide and traveled across every inch of the seemingly empty room, while chills shot up and down my spine.

 

Some of you will recall previous snippets from this story, hence you know Emily isn’t joking about it being painful – and it will be indeed! Either way, what a scary situation for the hapless teens. More from this in the next edition of Weekend Writing Warriors. Your feedback is much appreciated!

I will be out of town next weekend, so the next posting will occur the weekend after. I hope to become a regular participant after what’s been my longest absence. I was just following up with that big decision I told you about. I finally made it, which meant I decided not to pursue a PhD. and return home to southern Ontario Canada. I’m glad I made this choice, even though it was one of the biggest ones I had to make. I’ll post a story about it on my blog soon.

Thanks for reading, and be sure to click on the link to Weekend Writing Warriors to read other snippets from fine authors.

Frank

 

 

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Weekend Writing Warriors – The Agony of De-feet!

better-wewriwa

Exams are over, and now I can look forward to Christmas, especially as I am relaxing on the beaches of South Florida. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, for all your reading needs. I’m offering one final snippet from The Burning Night, my YA horror novella. As it is the last 8 from this story, I decided to condense a paragraph’s worth into an excerpt so you could get a full sense of what’s going on. If you missed last week’s snippet, it can be found here.

Set-up: Teenage sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a room. Thanks to a power switch, the entire floor has become scorching hot, making the girls to hop around as they try and preserve their feet. Emily and her daughters, Ally and Sandra delight in the girls suffering as they watch them “dance.” The image below shows how the floor would  look like.

hot

The eight:

“Whoa, look at ‘em dance, Mom,” Sandra chirped.

“And listen to them sing, it’s amazing how you can make a couple of teenagers dance and scream at the same time,” Emily cooed. 

Their heartless taunts hurt me almost as much this floor frying my skin like eggs. Lifting my head up, I forced a glare at the psychotic women through the agonizing pain, and cried, “You, ow, ow, si-sick bitches!”

“Shu-shut this floor off,” Ashley wailed.

“It won’t hurt much longer, my darlings.” Emily’s falsetto voice hardened ruthlessly as she boomed, “Because the nerve endings in your feet will be completely destroyed!”

I let out a scream that tore at my vocal cords and rattled my ribs, as I shook my right foot wildly in the air, while hopping on the other.

Oh their poor feet! Emily and her daughters are sick…sick, sick, sick! It’s hard to understand why Emily hates those girls so much. She just enjoys seeing people suffer. It’s the truth! As demented as she is, you have to admit that this is a clever way to torture someone. I hate having to end things here, but this isn’t published, and so I can only share so much.

The story ends on a positive note for the teens, and those women get what’s coming to them. I hope you have enjoyed reading these snippets, and will buy the book someday. Your feedback has made all the difference, and helped me understand my characters more. I thank everyone who commented on this last week, and do appreciate any thoughts today!

I’ll be taking some time off W.W.W. I expect to be back sometime in January, where I will share snippets from one of my other stories. I haven’t decided which one. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy New Year!!

See you in 2015!

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