Posts Tagged With: torment

Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Bad Things Are Coming


It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time. Only a few more days until Thanksgiving. I hope it will be great for you all. I’ve never been much of a fan of turkey. We pick up where we left off from my YA horror, The Burning Night.

Set-up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a room under the watchful eye of Emily and her two daughters. Ashley isn’t taking the threat of Emily seriously. Melissa, however, is really concerned, especially when Emily reveals her intentions to hurt the girls.

The eight:

“What a shame,” Emily cooed, shaking her head slowly. “Kevin has such beautiful, healthy girls…and now I have to hurt them.”

Ashley rolled her eyes, snorted and pawed the air. It just wasn’t sinking into her head about the potential danger of these women – who knew what they were capable of? My hands began to shake like crazy at the thought of Emily’s plan for us. I studied the room that confined us, but I didn’t notice anything of potential harm, which only scared me further.

“Wh-what are you g-gonna do with us?” I asked Emily.

She looked at me with soft grin, and replied, “That would ruin the surprise, my sweet little child.”


Note: Kevin is the name of Melissa’s father.

What a scary situation. Emily is definitely pretentious as well as sinister. The truth is, she and her kids enjoy torturing people. Hard to tell at this point what’s going to happen to the girls (though some of you already know that). You’ll find out soon enough. I’d love to get your feedback on this.

I will do the best to read your snippets today, but I can’t guarantee I’ll get to all of them so I do apologize in advance. I am currently basking in the bustling metropolis of New York City, visiting my cousins in Manhattan. I’ll be out and about today, hence why it will take me awhile to read everyone’s snippets. I will also be absent from W.W.W. next week.

Take care and happy thanksgiving to all!

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Things Are Getting Grim

Are you a published/unpublished writer? Have a writing piece you want to share? Want to meet other writers? Then come to Weekend Writing Warriors! Thanks for stopping by. Here’s another eight from The Burning Night. We continue from my last eight, though I’m skipping a few lines in the scene because I can only participate in a few more rounds of W.W.W. (May is going to be a busy month for me!)

Set-up: Melissa and Ashley have been trapped in an empty room, and find out they’re not alone; three women watching down on them from a skylight in the ceiling suddenly greet them. Emily, a middle-aged woman and her twenty-something daughters, Ally and Jessie. These women have been watching the girls using hidden cameras in the house, and intend to torment them (Emily actually owns the house). The women are taunting Melissa when Ashley suddenly snaps at them. She’s the first to speak.

On with the eight:

“Look you cows, I dunno what your deal is, but don’t you mess with my sister or I’ll kick your ass! So back off and let us outta here, got it!”

My mouth hung open in awe, as I stared at the tight, wolf-like expression on my little sister that earned us a trio of sneers from the women. With a mild frown and casual tone, Emily replied, “Respect your elders, young lady…and you’re not goin’ anywhere.”

She rubbed her palms and her face turned into a spongy evil grin like the witch from the Wizard of Oz. “Melissa and Ashley…your time has come!”

I trembled and cringed, the hair lifting on my arms while Ashley grimaced, her shaky hands hanging by her hips. With a chilly voice, Emily declared, “Prepare yourselves for a monstrous hot foot!”


A hot foot? I’d be cringing if I were the teens. Next week you will see what happens. Why does she torment them and how does she know her names? Let’s just say Melissa and Ashley’s father helped send Emily’s husband to twenty years in prison (this is how she knew the girls’ names). I’ll share snippets which reveal how she knows so much about them later on down the road.

I’d love your feedback and look forward to reading your snippets. I would like to thank everyone for their helpful critiques last week, and I think my story is going to be more powerful as a result. (I am still a newbie writer though!)

I’m also participating on Facebook’s Snippet Sunday.

Have a great Sunday!



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