Posts Tagged With: torture

#8Sunday – Gotta Cool This Floor Down!

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The weekly 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the links for participation guidelines, as well as the official list of participating authors.

More from Never Let Go. Melissa and Ashley are in a real pickle – trapped in a walled room under the watch of Emily. She’s made the floor become red-hot, and the poor teens must dance what seems like an everlasting hot foot! 

I’ve skipped a few lines in this scene to where Emily and her daughters are delighting in watching Melissa and Ashley suffer. Can they find a way to save themselves?

This is Melissa’s POV and the snippet has been formatted with creative punctuation to fit the 8-10 sentence limit:

I let out a scream rattled my ribs as I shook my right foot in the air. When my other foot couldn’t take anymore of the floor’s hot bee stinging, I shook it, but the air barely relieved the burns.

My throat burned from constant shrieking and my calves began to ache from endless hopping.

Leaping in the air with both feet, Ashley filled the air with howls with the heat wreaking havoc on her poor skin. Listening to her suffer agonizing pain ripped my heart in half, and I knew her feet couldn’t take much more punishment.

“Ge-get me off this floor,” she wailed.

I couldn’t take hearing her suffer any longer, and we needed something to protect our feet from further damage – pronto!

The red glow vanished in the floor just as I was about to strip my pants so we could stand on them, and the next thing I knew water began to spray onto the floor from a nozzle sticking out of the wall by our knees. Hissing filled the air and steam rose from the floor as the liquid hit it. As the floor cooled, we let out sharp breaths of relief as the steam left moisture on my arms and neck.

 

Well it seems as if Emily has a heart if she’s cooling the floor down, but there must be catch. And certainly those girls’ feet haven’t gotten off unscathed. More from this next week. Your feedback is much appreciated!

I will do my best to comment on everyone’s snippets, but I’m attending an intensive tai chi workshop today, and I won’t be home til later this evening. I recently took up tai chi after moving back home. I’ve actually been attending workshops all weekend (the other is related to work), hence my lack of presence on Saturday Spankings and Snippet Sunday.

I’ll likely be absent from snippet-sharing until November as life is getting in the way – again! Until then, happy reading and writing. Best wishes to everyone who’s participating in NaNoWriMo!

 

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Weekend Writing Warriors – The Agony of De-feet!

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Exams are over, and now I can look forward to Christmas, especially as I am relaxing on the beaches of South Florida. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, for all your reading needs. I’m offering one final snippet from The Burning Night, my YA horror novella. As it is the last 8 from this story, I decided to condense a paragraph’s worth into an excerpt so you could get a full sense of what’s going on. If you missed last week’s snippet, it can be found here.

Set-up: Teenage sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a room. Thanks to a power switch, the entire floor has become scorching hot, making the girls to hop around as they try and preserve their feet. Emily and her daughters, Ally and Sandra delight in the girls suffering as they watch them “dance.” The image below shows how the floor would  look like.

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The eight:

“Whoa, look at ‘em dance, Mom,” Sandra chirped.

“And listen to them sing, it’s amazing how you can make a couple of teenagers dance and scream at the same time,” Emily cooed. 

Their heartless taunts hurt me almost as much this floor frying my skin like eggs. Lifting my head up, I forced a glare at the psychotic women through the agonizing pain, and cried, “You, ow, ow, si-sick bitches!”

“Shu-shut this floor off,” Ashley wailed.

“It won’t hurt much longer, my darlings.” Emily’s falsetto voice hardened ruthlessly as she boomed, “Because the nerve endings in your feet will be completely destroyed!”

I let out a scream that tore at my vocal cords and rattled my ribs, as I shook my right foot wildly in the air, while hopping on the other.

Oh their poor feet! Emily and her daughters are sick…sick, sick, sick! It’s hard to understand why Emily hates those girls so much. She just enjoys seeing people suffer. It’s the truth! As demented as she is, you have to admit that this is a clever way to torture someone. I hate having to end things here, but this isn’t published, and so I can only share so much.

The story ends on a positive note for the teens, and those women get what’s coming to them. I hope you have enjoyed reading these snippets, and will buy the book someday. Your feedback has made all the difference, and helped me understand my characters more. I thank everyone who commented on this last week, and do appreciate any thoughts today!

I’ll be taking some time off W.W.W. I expect to be back sometime in January, where I will share snippets from one of my other stories. I haven’t decided which one. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy New Year!!

See you in 2015!

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Desperate Measures

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Have an excerpt from a story you want to share? Look no further than Weekend Writing Warriors, where published/unpublished writers share 8 sentences from their works. I’m also participating in Snippet Sunday. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend wherever you may be, and I want to thank everyone for their helpful comments last week. I attended a lengthy job fair for teachers yesterday in Córdoba, so this is a good way for me to unwind. I’m offering another 8 from my YA horror, The Burning Night. This 8 picks up from last week’s 8, though I’m skipping a few lines.

Set-up: Melissa pleas for Emily to let her sister go, but she refuses and simply watches the two of them ‘dance’. Melissa can no longer stand the burning sensation on her feet, so she employs a little strategy.

Here is the eight, which has been modified from the original to fit the 8 sentence rule:

 

Glimpsing at the glowing red floor, I spewed out a wail as I felt the flesh on my feet corrode. There wasn’t enough strength left in me to keep moving my feet, and I needed to get them off this hot surface pronto. My pajama pants were the only thing I could think of to protect my feet. Without hesitation, I stripped them off, threw them on the floor under my feet, as a sigh of relief blustered out of my lungs. Ashley’s mouth dropped open as she watched me and I didn’t even care that my undies were showing. Tears welled up behind my eyelids as I piled the pants with my feet to make a thicker cushion. Even on the cool fabric of my pants, my feet stung like they were touching fire coral and I let out a groan full of torment.

  “Ashley, get on,” I urged, stretching out my pants to give her enough room as she quickly jumped on and let out an audible breath of relief from the excruciating pain.

 

 

Nice idea, but they obviously need to think of a plan since they can’t stand on the pants forever. Love to know your thoughts, bear in mind this is a second draft and I just added this scene to the story. I’m not sure if I’ll be participating next week, since I might be going down to Málaga for the day. I’m also busy this week with upcoming job interviews so I might not have enough time to put up a snippet. So if you don’t see my name on the list next week, you’ll know why. The following week I’ll be absent because I’ll be going to Zaragoza to visit a former student of mine for the weekend.

Click on the Weekend Writing Warriors link for the official list of participating authors. Enjoy your Sunday!

#8Sunday

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