Posts Tagged With: torture

Weekend Writing Warriors – Desperate Measures

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Have an excerpt from a story you want to share? Look no further than Weekend Writing Warriors, where published/unpublished writers share 8 sentences from their works. I’m also participating in Snippet Sunday. I hope you are all enjoying your weekend wherever you may be, and I want to thank everyone for their helpful comments last week. I attended a lengthy job fair for teachers yesterday in Córdoba, so this is a good way for me to unwind. I’m offering another 8 from my YA horror, The Burning Night. This 8 picks up from last week’s 8, though I’m skipping a few lines.

Set-up: Melissa pleas for Emily to let her sister go, but she refuses and simply watches the two of them ‘dance’. Melissa can no longer stand the burning sensation on her feet, so she employs a little strategy.

Here is the eight, which has been modified from the original to fit the 8 sentence rule:

 

Glimpsing at the glowing red floor, I spewed out a wail as I felt the flesh on my feet corrode. There wasn’t enough strength left in me to keep moving my feet, and I needed to get them off this hot surface pronto. My pajama pants were the only thing I could think of to protect my feet. Without hesitation, I stripped them off, threw them on the floor under my feet, as a sigh of relief blustered out of my lungs. Ashley’s mouth dropped open as she watched me and I didn’t even care that my undies were showing. Tears welled up behind my eyelids as I piled the pants with my feet to make a thicker cushion. Even on the cool fabric of my pants, my feet stung like they were touching fire coral and I let out a groan full of torment.

  “Ashley, get on,” I urged, stretching out my pants to give her enough room as she quickly jumped on and let out an audible breath of relief from the excruciating pain.

 

 

Nice idea, but they obviously need to think of a plan since they can’t stand on the pants forever. Love to know your thoughts, bear in mind this is a second draft and I just added this scene to the story. I’m not sure if I’ll be participating next week, since I might be going down to Málaga for the day. I’m also busy this week with upcoming job interviews so I might not have enough time to put up a snippet. So if you don’t see my name on the list next week, you’ll know why. The following week I’ll be absent because I’ll be going to Zaragoza to visit a former student of mine for the weekend.

Click on the Weekend Writing Warriors link for the official list of participating authors. Enjoy your Sunday!

#8Sunday

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Weekend Writing Warriors – Spare My Sister, Please!

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Hello/Buenos días and welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors! I hope you are having a wonderful Sunday wherever you may be. It’s 35 today in Seville, where I am (that’s 95 F I think). But meh, Seville is such a beautiful city, it’s worth standing the heat. Today, I’m sharing an eight from my YA horror, The Burning Night.

Set up: My heroines, Melissa and Ashley, are being tortured by Emily and her two daughters, Ally and Jessie. From a skylight, the three women are watching Mel and Ashley continuously leap barefoot on a red-hot floor, thus enduring an endless hot foot! Melissa can’t stand watching her younger sister suffer so she tries reason with Emily.

The eight:

 

My little sister let out an ear-splitting shriek as she leapt in the air with both feet. Listening to her constant cries of anguish drilled my eardrums as well as crumble my insides.         

“Oh my God,” I uttered as I watched her poor feet repeatedly touching the glowing grid. This was way too cruel for a sixteen-year-old girl and I knew her tootsies couldn’t take much more of this blazing heat.

“Pl-please Emily, don’t do th-this to her…to-torture me, j-just let my b-baby si-sister go!” I pleaded, the intense pain underfoot killing me. Ashley gave me a blank look, not getting why I was willing to sacrifice myself for her. With a scornful grin, Emily slowly shook their head as her daughters snickered.

“Damn it, sh-she’s just a kid, she di-didn’t do any-thing to you!”

 

Emily can’t possibly be any crueller than that! Poor Ashley. What will the girls do now? You’ll find out what happens next week. As always, I’d love to know what you think. For the official list of participating authors, click on Weekend Writing Warriors.

I’m going to a soccer match later today, but I will do the best to get around to everyone’s snippets. I’ve been doing great since I arrived in Spain and I’m enjoying the new lifestyle. There will be a week or two where I can’t participate on W.W.W. but I’ll give you plenty of notice of when that happens.

Have a great Sunday!

 

 

 

#8Sunday

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Weekend Writing Warriors – A Painful Dance

 

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I hope you all are having a wonderful Easter weekend, wherever you are. It has been a week of wacky weather in my neck of the woods (snow, rain, cold, etc). Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the place where writers share eight sentences from their stories. I’m also participating on Facebook’s Snippet Sunday.

This week we pick up from last week’s snippet of my YA horror, The Burning Night. The previous snippet can be found here.

Set-up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a chamber by Emily and her two daughters, who watch them from a skylight above. One of Emily’s daughters has flipped a power switch, which makes the entire floor under Melissa and Ashley’s feet glow red-hot! With nothing to grab onto, the barefoot girls constantly lift up one foot after the other as they try to avoid harsh burns. Emily and her daughters delight in watching them suffer a killer hot foot.

This is in Melissa’s POV and with a little bit of creative punctuation.

The eight:

 

“Look at ‘em dance, girls,” Emily razzed, her scornful voice pricking me like darts.

“Ow! Ouch! Ow! Ow! Hot!” Ashley repeatedly cried, wincing as she desperately tried to keep her feet off the blazing floor. The pained expression on her face made my heart crack. With bulging eyes, she glanced at her poor feet as they endured painful burns with every touch of the floor. Turning to me with frantic eyes she cried, “It-it’s like l-lava on my f-feet, wh-what are we gonna do?!?”   

“I-I dunno!”

A chorus of cheeky squeals filled the air, dominating our cries as well as our feet thumping against the hot surface. The three women beamed at us from behind the skylight and I cried, “You…sick bi-bitches this re-really hu-hurts…wh-why are you torturing us?!?”

 

Good question! You can get a good sense of Ashley and Melissa’s anguish. How much more can their poor feet take? I would very much love to know your thoughts (yes I know this is scary). I look forward to reading your snippets today, too.

Visit the official site of Weekend Writing Warriors for the complete list of participating authors. If it’s your first time, I’d like to suggest you visit some of my favorite authors: Veronica Scott, Sarah Cass, Sarah Wesson, Millie Burns and Caitlin Stern.

I’m heading off to Spain next week for two months, so sadly I won’t be participating on W.W.W. for the next few weeks. I will return once I’m settled in Spain. Until then I’ll miss you all! Before I go, I’m thinking of changing the title of my story and I would like some feedback, if it’s not too much trouble. My possible suggestions are:

1. Girl On a Hot Tin Roof
2. Hot Time in the Old House
3. Heat

What do you think? If you can suggest a different title based on the snippets I would welcome that as well. Click on the Contact Me tab on my site if you want to give me a detailed suggestion. Thanks so much!

Happy Easter!

#8Sunday

 

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