Posts Tagged With: trap

Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – What Was That?

The weekly writing blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link for participation guidelines, and to see who else is participating today.

I’m sharing an excerpt from Never Let Go, which picks up from the last snippet from two weeks ago. Teen sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a strange room where Emily and her daughters are watching them through a skylight. The last snippet finished with Emily threatening to hurt Melissa, which sends her into a state of fright. This snippet opens with her younger sister, Ashley, speaking:


            “Don’t listen to her, Mel, she’s bluffin’, she’s just tryin’ to scare us!”
            I turned to her as I rubbed the goosebumps dancing on my arms. “I-I d-d-don’t think she is.”     

             “Bluffing am I? Oh little Ashley McNamara, you are very much like your father,” Emily said, casting a freaky smile on my baby sister.

            “Go to hell lady, just shut up and let us outta here, or I’ll co-”

             “Hush up impetuous teenager and dance!” Emily leaned over the edge of the skylight, disappearing from sight, and loud ‘click-click’ sounded from above, making my heart jump.

              Emily reappeared, as she and her daughters smiled at us like the witch from The Wizard of Oz.

               I dipped my chin to the floor under feet, my eyes instantly bulged as it began to glow red.


Uh oh! The floor is glowing red! Many of you likely know what’s coming next, but don’t spoil it for those that are new to this story. I’ve edited this scene, and I’m looking for helpful critiquing. More to follow next week.

Thanks for visiting, and be sure to check out other participating writers.



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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – It Will Be Quite Painful

The 8-10 sentence blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Thanks for visiting my blog today! And ‘howdy!’ to all of my fellow writer friends! I’ve missed you all! Though, I guess I’ve been saying that a lot this year.

I’m offering an excerpt from my YA contemporary, Never Let Go. My MC’s Melissa and Ashley (a pair of teenage sisters) have found themselves trapped in a steel walled box room. They are greeted by woman and her two young adult daughters, who are watching them through a skylight. The woman, Emily, tells Melissa and Ashley that she intends to seek vengeance on the girls’ father whom wrong her awhile. Melissa wants to know why, of course.

The snippet, which has been formatted to meet the sentence requirement, opens with Emily speaking to Melissa. This is in Melissa’s POV.

“Because it’s better to attack a man’s heart, my dear, the ones he cares about the most…like his two daughters.”

I let out a gasp, and an uncomfortable feeling suddenly seared in my stomach.

“What a shame,” Emily said with a drowsy voice as she leaned forward to the point where her nose was almost touching the glass. “Such beautiful, healthy girls Kevin has…and now I have to do this to them.”

It became instantly clear that Emily wasn’t just imprisoning us. I swallowed the iron lump in my throat while tremors rumbled in my hands, racing throughout my bloodstream.

“Wh-what are you g-gonna do to us?”

“Oh but that would ruin the surprise, my sweet little Melissa. But don’t worry, it will be quite painful, I assure you.”

My eyes instantly grew wide and traveled across every inch of the seemingly empty room, while chills shot up and down my spine.


Some of you will recall previous snippets from this story, hence you know Emily isn’t joking about it being painful – and it will be indeed! Either way, what a scary situation for the hapless teens. More from this in the next edition of Weekend Writing Warriors. Your feedback is much appreciated!

I will be out of town next weekend, so the next posting will occur the weekend after. I hope to become a regular participant after what’s been my longest absence. I was just following up with that big decision I told you about. I finally made it, which meant I decided not to pursue a PhD. and return home to southern Ontario Canada. I’m glad I made this choice, even though it was one of the biggest ones I had to make. I’ll post a story about it on my blog soon.

Thanks for reading, and be sure to click on the link to Weekend Writing Warriors to read other snippets from fine authors.




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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – Prepare Yourselves!


December already. Christmas is looming and I hope you’re all getting your shopping done. It’s been a wet weekend here in northern Kentucky. Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors. A great place to meet talented writers, while getting feedback on your stories. I’m offering an 8 from The Burning Night. 

Set-up: Melissa and Ashley are trapped in a room under the watchful eye of Emily and her two daughters, Sandra and Ally. Emily insults Melissa and Ashley’s father, when Ashley decides she’s heard enough (she’s very fond of her dad). She speaks first as she gives Emily an earful.

The eight (modified from the original to fit the 8-sentence rule):


“Go to hell you whore and leave our dad alone, let us outta here, or I’ll come up there and kick your-”

Emily slammed one hand on the skylight glass and roared, “I’ve had enough of your mouth, young lady, if I were your mother, I’d slap your face!”

She rubbed her palms and an evil grin stretched across her face like the witch from The Wizard of Oz. “Ashley and Melissa Murdock…your time has come!”

Ashley and I looked at each other and grimaced, while the hair on my arms lifted.

“Prepare yourselves for the hot foot to wipe out all hot feet,” Emily said with an icy voice.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, and I didn’t even know what a ‘hot foot’ was.

“Sandy,” Emily said, turning to her right, “switch it on!”


That can’t be good for the poor teens. Next week you’ll see what Sandra switches on. As always, I value your feedback. I look forward to reading your snippets.

I’d like to send a shout-out to all the NaNoWriMo participants – Well done on your hard work!


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