Posts Tagged With: writing

Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday – What Was That?

The weekly writing blog hop is hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link for participation guidelines, and to see who else is participating today.

I’m sharing an excerpt from Never Let Go, which picks up from the last snippet from two weeks ago. Teen sisters, Melissa and Ashley, are trapped in a strange room where Emily and her daughters are watching them through a skylight. The last snippet finished with Emily threatening to hurt Melissa, which sends her into a state of fright. This snippet opens with her younger sister, Ashley, speaking:

 

            “Don’t listen to her, Mel, she’s bluffin’, she’s just tryin’ to scare us!”
            I turned to her as I rubbed the goosebumps dancing on my arms. “I-I d-d-don’t think she is.”     

             “Bluffing am I? Oh little Ashley McNamara, you are very much like your father,” Emily said, casting a freaky smile on my baby sister.

            “Go to hell lady, just shut up and let us outta here, or I’ll co-”

             “Hush up impetuous teenager and dance!” Emily leaned over the edge of the skylight, disappearing from sight, and loud ‘click-click’ sounded from above, making my heart jump.

              Emily reappeared, as she and her daughters smiled at us like the witch from The Wizard of Oz.

               I dipped my chin to the floor under feet, my eyes instantly bulged as it began to glow red.

 

Uh oh! The floor is glowing red! Many of you likely know what’s coming next, but don’t spoil it for those that are new to this story. I’ve edited this scene, and I’m looking for helpful critiquing. More to follow next week.

Thanks for visiting, and be sure to check out other participating writers.

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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday: Stephanie Fights Back!

It’s the 8-10 sentence blog hop hosted by Weekend Writing Warriors. Click on the link to visit the homepage. Hard to believe we’re almost into August (sigh!).

Here’s another excerpt from My Gift where Stephanie manages to turn the tables on her drunk boyfriend, who’s beating her on the ground. It has been formatted to meet the 10 sentence limit:

          As I continue to shield my stomach with my arms, I know I have to save myself somehow, get off this floor and away from him fast. Adam cranks his foot back with his face burning crimson. With every inch of my body between the breasts and hips is throbbing, it can’t possibly take another hit. I manage to grab his foot just as it’s barreling towards its target, throw it into the air and knock him off balance. He cries out as he falls back, before hitting the ground with his back, making a satisfying thud. “Why you…little-”

        I manage to get to my feet, groan from the pain, and grab an empty beer bottle from the coffee table.

        Adam’s eyes widen as I crank it back, and then smash it over his head. Shrapnels of glass scatter around the living room as he collapses on the carpet. He groans and writhes on the ground while grabbing his head, as I clutch my stomach and pant in shock. 

 

Kudos Stephanie! But now what? This is where the story lifts off like a rocket heading out into space. Your comments are always welcome. I’m sorry if last week’s snippet was too sudden. Thanks to some helpful feedback, I’m going to change the story’s beginning.

On a personal note, thanks to all for your thoughtful words. I still have not made my decision, but I’m getting very close to doing so. I’m heading to a Toronto FC game today (soccer for those not familiar with the team), which might clear out the cobwebs.

Thanks for stopping by! Enjoy your weekend!

Frank

 

 

 

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Weekend Writing Warriors/#8Sunday -Here Comes Mom

This is the 8-10 sentence blog hop, Weekend Writing Warriors, the place to get your Sunday sampling of snippets from a smorgasbord of writers. Click on the link to see who’s participating.

Another snippet from Never Let Go, currently in the editing process. Last week I shared one where Melissa has just been pranked by her younger sister, Ashley, albeit spraying lemonade in her face. In this snippet, we’ll see how Melissa reacts:

            Anger simmered inside me as I finally managed to open one eye.  The lingering juice made my vision kind of blurry, but not enough where I couldn’t see the cocoon of joy wrapped on my sister’s face – the kind after success in tormenting me. “Ha-ha, I gotcha, I gotcha!”  

            “That’s it, you’re dead,” I grabbed a vase from a table, cranked it back as Ashley gasped and shielded herself with her arms.

            “Melissa Lauren McNamara don’t you dare,” my mother’s voice thundered in the air.

             Ashley and I froze as we watched her come down the stairs, my heart dashed from her clogs thumping on the wooden staircase. “Put it down this instant!”

            I set the vase down on the table, giving Ashley the coldest frown I could and wiping the sticky juice off my face and neck before it could drip onto my shirt.

            Ashley cringed with red cheeks under our mother’s disapproving glare. “And as for you…Ashley Joanne Elizabeth, spraying your sister with pop?”

 

Dang, Mom! Why’d you have to spoil the fun? You know a mother means business when she uses your full name. I sometimes wonder how I came up with my characters’ names. There is a reason why Ashley pranks Melissa, and it’s revealed near the end of the story, but I can’t give it away yet. Next week, I’ll share a snippet from a different scene.

As always, your feedback is most appreciated.

 

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